You're Leaving Me?
by kiwibrazilian89
Summary: What if Auggie had taken the job as the OCA.  How would Annie cope with his reassignment as it triggers flashbacks of her military brat upbringing? Would they be able to 'make it work' as Auggie had promised? Chapter 19 Rewritten.  NOW COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**A/N This is just an idea that popped into my mind as I started to feel homesick today - I grew up moving countries a lot and I think a lot of the culture shock and re-entry issues are things that Annie would be dealing with as she settled into the CIA.  
>Disclaimer: I wish I owned an Auggie but I don't. All things Covert Affairs belong to the brilliant writers who came up with this show.<strong>

**Chapter 1**

"Are you dressed for a wedding or a funeral?" Annie demanded to know why Auggie was wearing a suit complete with a silk tie and jacket. It wasn't his usual style.

"Heh. A little bit of both, you are standing in front of the new head of the Office of Congressional Affairs." Annie laughed in disbelief and surprise as a wide smile spread across her face.

"That's huge, congratulations!" Auggie's quiet reply faded to the back of her mind as she began to notice how empty his office looked. The head of the OCA was not a covert role. Very much the opposite in fact. It was a public relations position - in front of the media, answering direct questions, gaining public approval for the CIA. Covert operatives were not allowed to be seen with overt operatives outside of Langley walls. It was unsafe and directly violated protocol.

"Wait...your desk isn't cleaned up its cleaned off. You're leaving me?" Annie tried to keep the panic out of her voice as she realized she was about to lose the one person who kept her world stable. He had been her best friend since day one in this place. As unpredictable and spontaneous as life in the CIA was, it still had more continuity than she had ever had in her life. Growing up as a military brat she had never had a country to call home, let alone had anyone in her life long enough to develop deep, lasting friendships. Her sister Danielle was the one person who had been through all of that with her.

Auggie was the first person she had let herself completely trust to be there for her, always. He had promised to always be there for her. Just to be clear, she was an incredibly strong person. She had excellent instincts and a strong ability to read people and connect with them. It came from years of moving countries every time her military father was reassigned - having to adapt to new cultures every year forced you to become a chameleon. She had learned to blend in with her surroundings, how to convince people she belonged, how to change accents and learn new languages on the fly. But she never truly belonged anywhere. She was always an outsider. No matter how quickly she convinced people around her that they were her best friend and knew her deeply, she always held back, keeping a piece of herself hidden. This was the reason she kept herself detached from people. This terrifying sense of loss tearing through her as she processed Auggie's words was a perfect incentive to never to let herself care deeply about people.

"Well you went from thrilled for me to sad for you in 2 seconds." Why was there still a smile in his voice? Couldn't he hear how fast her heart was beating, how hard it was for her to breathe right now? She struggled to compose herself. Taking a deep breath in she quietly asked the question she was most scared to hear the answer for.

"You'll lose your covert status, will I even be able to see you?" Mercifully Auggie couldn't see the terror in her eyes as they froze on his face like a deer in the headlights. She wasn't sure she wanted to stay for his answer. Maybe she could just pretend this wasn't really happening.

"We'll make it work." He sounded so sure. She wanted to believe him. But she had heard that phrase from too many people before. Everyone always promised to stay in touch. They promised that nothing would change. That they would stay close no matter the circumstances. It never happened. Life went on and people put their energy into those directly around them. It was just natural human behavior. She replied to him almost accusingly, it was his fault that things were changing.

"But not like this. Not every day." She heard him sigh.

"Believe it or not this was a very hard decision. And I'll still be keeping an eye on you, so to speak." Hard decision? Deciding to leave her had been a 'hard decision.' Yeah right. He just got offered the biggest promotion of his life, why would he think twice. He was clearly just trying to avoid a scene.

The rest of a conversation was a blur. Her head was spinning, she had to get out of there. Needed to sit down. The tentative sense of stability she had built during the past year at the CIA shattered as she ran out of the room.

"Annie?" She heard Auggie's questioning voice calling after her but she couldn't stop, couldn't turn around, had to get out. She ran up the stairs to the garden, collapsing on the bench struggling to breathe as the memories she usually kept tightly locked up flooded her mind. She hated saying goodbye. She had had too many of them in her life. She remembered the first time she had been torn away from all her friends on base in Darfur. She had been 8 and her father had only been given a month's notice that they were being reassigned to East Timor.

By the time her parents chose to tell her it had been the last day of school and she had to tell all her friends. One day they were there, laughing, playing hopscotch on the concrete in the hot sun – the next day she was being informed that she would never see them again. Her mind flew to her childhood best friend Sara pulling on her arm and sobbing, begging her not to leave. But she had had no choice in the matter. She had never had any choice. The orders were handed down from her father's superior officers and family was considered a mere incidental in military life. If he was going anywhere too dangerous his family would be based at the nearest friendly country and they would see him whenever he had a few days on leave. Her father had not been physically present for most of her life.

That memory of clinging to her best friend as they both sobbed stuck with her through her life though. She remembered the way her father had pulled her other hand telling her they had to hurry to catch their plane, her tears and pleas for more time to say goodbye ignored. She remembered the way the air on the airplane had felt so strange. It was too dry, it made her chest hurt. She was determined to never feel that level of pain again. That had been the day she built her first wall around her heart. It was flimsy and weak, but it was the best she could do at the age of 8.

As she swam through the wave of memories the tears she usually so carefully controlled began to roll down her cheeks, almost unnoticed. Almost, but not quite. Joan, who had expected this sort of reaction when Auggie told Annie about his promotion, had been keeping an eye on Annie all day. She had been on the phone as Annie fled Auggie's office and through her own office window's her sharp eyes took in the stricken look on her face. She had vetted Annie before accepting her into the DPD and knew of her history. Joan also had a messy past – Annie reminded her of herself in so many ways. With a sneaking suspicion of where Annie would go, she had wrapped up her phone call and walked in the direction of the roof garden to find her. Now she walked over and sat on the bench next to her. This was one of the rare times she would let one of her operatives see her softer side.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N - In reply to the reviews – yes Auggie steps through the curtain in this story. This is somewhat of a filler chapter but I felt like there needed to be an explanation for Auggie's decision. The next chapter will be from his POV ;)**

**Disclaimer: Covert Affairs is not mine. But dreams are free.  
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**Chapter 2**

"Auggie told you." It was a statement. Gentle, warm, but unyielding as it hit Annie in the chest, pulling her back to the present reason for her distress.

"Yes. I'll be fine, it was just a bit of a shock." Annie sat with her elbows resting on the knees of her expensive power suit, shoulders hunched as she stared out at the city, eyes rimmed red from crying.

"You know Annie, the move to overt status is something which most operatives have to face at some point in their lives. Auggie is perfect for the position even though he's still quite young. I know it might not make much sense to you that we're splitting you up as a team. You both work together exceptionally well, but the truth is Auggie has never been truly happy since we pulled him off the field. He hates being in the background watching other people act as he plays a supporting role. We felt that a role in the spotlight would give him more of a sense of peace and purpose."

Annie understood what Joan was saying. It was selfish for her to want to hold him back purely because she needed him in her life. But she had spent her life 'understanding' why people had to leave her. She had understood when her dad had left her for 2 years without a single visit because 'his country needed him.' She had understood when she had been sent to boarding school at age 12 because it was considered less of a risk for her parents to travel without her and her sister. She had been torn away from everything familiar and everyone she loved but she would have been in the way if she stayed with her parents.

All of her life had been spent suppressing her own needs to allow other people to do what they needed. But now she was sick of losing people and just this one time she wanted to fight to keep someone in her life. Auggie had had a choice. And he still chose to leave her. He chose work over his best friend. But she couldn't say all this to Joan. She was her boss. Annie took a deep calming breath before replying.

"I understand that it's a huge promotion for him. I just thought that he wanted to get back out on the field. I didn't expect to lose him this soon. He's the one person I know is always on my side when I'm out on the field." Joan looked at her in understanding. Auggie and Annie were close friends. That was how she and Arthur had started out. She knew what it was like to be separated from the one person you could always rely on by a government order. It had happened to her when Arthur had been sent out on a deep cover mission for 2 years. She hadn't known whether he was alive, in prison, or in love with someone else. It had been torture. She realized that Annie would struggle with Auggie's promotion for quite some time.

"Annie. I know you and Auggie are close so let me try to explain why we're making this change. Auggie has started taking unnecessary risks in an attempt to prove that he is able to get back on the field, but the reality is that it is no longer an option for him and he needs to come to terms with that. It's dangerous enough for a fully capable agent to be sent out - we can't guarantee anyone's safety no matter how hard we try. So to send out a blind operative is reckless and irresponsible." Annie glared at Joan. She wanted to protest that Auggie was probably safer than most of their other operatives. That he was the most capable person she knew. That he deserved a chance to go back on the field. Joan met her glare and continued as if she had read Annie's mind,

"I am aware there are some situations where he is highly capable, but Auggie has specialized skills that are most useful to us within the agency. Not to mention that we'd like to keep him alive, apparently against his wishes at times given his recent actions. Although he has had a lot to overcome with his disability, he still thinks he is invincible and that is what concerns us. Both Arthur and I have discussed this decision with him at length and it isn't something he's jumping into without thinking, it's been on the cards for a while." Annie looked down at the ground as Joan resumed talking.

"I know this is hard for you. He's your support person and I know what it's like to feel like the carpet is being pulled out from underneath you. We kept him in place for you as long as we could to get you settled into the CIA but we feel that you're ready to stand on your own two feet now. We will have someone to replace Auggie as your handler, and don't worry - Auggie has been putting the applicants through hell in the interviews. It will be someone amazing at what they do, and you will be safe. The CIA takes care of its operatives." Joan spoke comfortingly, addressing each of Annie's fears and letting her know she had been heard. For now that was all Annie needed, although she hadn't expected to find her normally distant and detached boss so understanding. Clearly Joan had reasons for the Ice Queen facade.

"Will I still be able to see him?" Annie looked up at Joan afraid to hope but part of her couldn't help it.

"Definitely within the walls of Langley. And we are the CIA, covert missions are our specialty remember. We can find ways for you and Auggie to spend time together, it just won't be openly." Joan smiled at Annie, making an unspoken agreement to do everything she could to make sure her and Auggie would be able to stay in contact.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This is for samcheese1 who wanted to see Auggie ask Joan how Annie was doing. Thanks for the reviews :) Love hearing your ideas for where you would like this story to go. Any constructive criticism is totally welcomed as well :)  
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**Disclaimer: *Checks asset list* - Nope, Covert Affairs is still not mine. **

Chapter 3

Auggie stood outside Joan's office waiting for her to get back with Annie. He had been concerned when she walked out in the middle of their conversation earlier. It wasn't like Annie to end a conversation without getting the last word. And their conversations usually ended in light-hearted banter. He had known she wouldn't understand his decision to take the job as the new head of the Office of Congressional Affairs. He barely understood it himself. He had confessed his desire to get back into field work to Annie, and she knew how much it meant to him. Perversely, his heart had done a little lurch at the concern Annie expressed at the thought of losing him. He grinned at the thought of her missing him. Maybe this wouldn't be such a bad thing after all. At least it would be easier to hide how he felt about her if he wasn't constantly on the other end of her walking into danger. At the same time, the thought of not being the one in her ear as she was on missions was going to drive him crazy. He only hoped he would be able to avoid destroying Annie's new handler for letting her get hurt.

He shook his head. Annie getting hurt was not something he could allow himself to think about if he wanted to get through this week. Tomorrow he had his first media conference as the Head of the OCA and he needed to have all pistons firing to get through it. Must stop thinking about Annie. Must focus on new job. Auggie laughed self-deprecatingly - it was a waste of time trying to control his thoughts, he wouldn't be able to settle them until he was sure that Annie was alright.

His heart sank slightly when he heard Joan's footsteps approach alone - it was the end of the day and apparently Annie wasn't going to come back to talk to him before she left. That was definitely a change from the normal. She usually drove him home after work so he didn't have to call a car service. He followed Joan into her office. He heard her sit at her desk and get comfortable; clearly she wasn't going to initiate this conversation.

"How's she taking it?" He asked hesitantly, unsure if he wanted the answer. He stood half facing the wall, muscles tense, head turned towards Joan. He knew she was perceptive and wondered if she had realized how much he cared about Annie. He was pretty sure he had managed to hide it from most of the department but Joan knew him well. Accepting this job had been the hardest decision of his life, but when it became a matter of extracting Annie from a mission gone wrong or giving up his own covert status he had known what he had to do. He couldn't ever tell Annie though - she would blame herself for him losing his opportunity to ever return to field work and she shouldn't have to deal with that guilt. It had been his decision, and if he had to choose again he would do the same. He would give up anything to keep Annie safe. He heard Joan's chair turn towards him slowly and her slacks rustled slightly as she placed her hands in her lap.

Joan glanced up at him and took a deep breath while she analyzed how much she should tell Auggie about her conversation with Annie. Too much about how hurt Annie was and he would try to wriggle out of this new contract his had with Arthur, ruining any chance he had of promotions later in his career. Some things were also not her place to share with him. Like how she had a distinct feeling that Annie liked him as more than just a friend. She decided to settle for the basics.

"She's hurting but she will be okay Auggie. You need to recognize though, that there is a high possibility that you will lose her friendship as you step into this new role. You'll be busy, high profile, and there will be eyes on you at all times. Maintaining a friendship with Annie will be risky. Are you sure you are willing to risk her safety in order to stay close to her?" Auggie clenched his jaw as Joan mentioned how dangerous it would be for Annie.

He knew that trying to keep her in his life was one of the most selfish decisions he would ever make but the reality was that he was not strong enough to face the betrayed look in her eyes if he pushed her away. He would find a way to keep his promise to Annie that they would maintain their friendship but knowing that his presence was a constant danger to her would mean he would need to keep her at a safe distance. For her own sake they would never be able to be anything more than friends no matter how deeply he cared for her. He suppressed that thought as soon as it crossed his mind - she would never see him as anything more than a friend anyway.

"I can't lose her Joan. It's not an option. We'll keep it under the radar but she would be in more danger from out of control emotions if she lost her best friend. And just for the record, if you order me to stay away from her I am going to break protocol." His voice rose slightly at the end of his sentence, his tone the only thing showing just how close to breaking point the thought of losing Annie had him. He had his body language carefully controlled at this point. He had consciously lowered his shoulders and relaxed his arms trying to convince himself and Joan that friendship was all he ever wanted from Annie. His breathing was deep and slow. But nonetheless, Joan smiled slightly as she heard the concern in his voice.

"You're fine Auggie. Besides, you seem to be forgetting that I'm no longer your boss. This is an off the record conversation between friends. As long as you are both careful not to be seen in public together you should be fine." Her light tone turned serious as she continued.

"I should warn you though that one mistake will cause Arthur to make you stop seeing her." His fist clenched without his permission as the fingers of his other hand ran through his hair distractedly. He knew that Joan was warning him because she cared about both him and Annie but hearing his worst fear spoken out loud was still hard. He nodded and turned to walk out of her office before he gave himself away. When he reached the door he paused and spoke quietly to Joan.

"Keep an eye on her for me will you? It'll take me a while to figure out how to make this work." He tried to sound unconcerned. Tried, and failed miserably. The words he had meant as an offhand request came out low and husky. Why was it that he had so little self control whenever Annie Walker was concerned?

"Auggie, you have the DPD wired, I doubt a new recruit could go on a date with an ugly guy without you hearing about it. I'm not under any illusion that that will change now that your office is on the seventh floor." He smirked. Yep, Joan knew him well.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Love love LOVE you guys for reviewing! :) I'll try to work your suggestions and ideas in so if there's anything you want to see happen please share! :D **

**Disclaimer: Don't even own the punching bag in Covert Affairs. Sad. **

Chapter 4

After a long night of tossing and turning Annie gave up trying to sleep around 5am and headed to the Langley gym. Maybe she could take out her frustration on a punching bag.

She could handle this. Or that's what she was telling herself - and would continue to tell herself until she believed it.

Thwack.

Auggie was leaving her. That's fine she didn't need him. She was just upset because of the changes it would bring to her life in other ways. Like her new handler Reva who already seemed to dislike her. She had met the girl earlier that day when she cut her off in the coffee line but Joan had just informed her that Reva was Auggie's choice for her new handler. Auggie had supposedly put the applicants through 'hell' during their interviews, how did he still end up choosing the straight-laced alpha barbie. Seriously, sometimes it was like the guy wasn't blind and made decisions purely based on appearances. And no, that was not a hint of jealousy. That was just a rational analysis of Auggie's womanizing behavior.

Not that it mattered since apparently Reva would be replacing him. Auggie's promotion was going to make her life miserable.

Thwack.

She hit the bag from hugging distance, putting as much force into the punch as possible. Maybe if she destroyed the punching back she wouldn't feel this driving urge to destroy Auggie for choosing to abandon her to put up with Jai all on her own. She had had enough of guys abandoning her.

She thought back to the first guy she had fallen for, Daniel. Her family had been stationed in Nepal. She was 14. They had had a perfect summer together, scaling Himalayan Mountains and talking for hours while stargazing at night. He had been the first to leave her when his family was reassigned to another country - she still wasn't sure which country, he hadn't said goodbye.

She understood of course, saying goodbye was a ritual which caused unnecessary pain. Although probably highly unhealthy, she preferred the emotional shut down and run approach. It was easier to pretend someone had never mattered to you and refuse to ever think of them again than to try to hold onto something uncertain. Goodbyes were messy. There were tears and promises made that were guaranteed to be broken. She was better off without them. She had become very, very good at not crying over goodbyes scenes. Now, in fact, her natural response when someone was leaving her was to crack jokes and smile, even if the other person was sobbing. Call it a defense mechanism. Or call it cold heartedness. Either way it worked. And she was determined not to let herself cry over Auggie leaving her. She was stronger than that.

Thwack.

The icing on the cake was that this announcement had come just as her and Auggie's were starting to get closer. Behind their usual lighthearted banter she had felt slightly more heat and depth on rare occasions lately. He hid it well but she couldn't help but wonder if he had ever considered what it would be like to kiss her.

Thwack.

Or so she had thought.

Thwack.

The facts just didn't add up. Auggie loved his job at the DPD and he had been working on regaining authorization for field work. He had been convinced he was close. It wasn't like him to go down without a fight. Joan said he wasn't truly happy with his job in tech ops but she had never seen him upset about being her handler when she was on missions. Her instincts were usually spot-on. She would have noticed if he was less than content – wouldn't she? Or had he been hiding his real thoughts on the job to avoid making her feel guilty. It would be just like him to go all cave-man on her if he felt he was protecting her. Heaven forbid that he just acknowledge that she was an emotionally stable and capable woman who could cope with the truth about how he felt.

Thwack.

This decision made it clear that she had never factored into his long term plans. Clearly she wasn't as important to him as she had thought. In fact, maybe nothing he had told her had even been true to begin with. Not that it mattered. She hadn't let herself need a man since the first time her father sent her to boarding school against her will and she was not about to start now. Auggie could do whatever he wanted, she would be fine.

She began to beat up the punching bag in earnest now, wanting nothing more than to stop thinking about Auggie. She had thought he was different, that he really cared about her friendship. But clearly he was just. Like. Every. Other. Man. In. Her. Life.

Each word in her thoughts was punctuated by solid contact with the punching bag. Inhale, pull arm back, exhale, thwack. She was so focused on her movements that she didn't notice Auggie approaching her until his voice broke through her angry haze.

"Did the punching bag offend you personally or is it just bearing the brunt of your anger about something else?" She paused and glared at him just long enough to take in the trademarked grin on his face before she resumed beating up the bag. Auggie's eyes softened as he spoke again,

"I'm gonna go with the something else. Feel like punching me instead? I don't think the punching bag deserves to take my punishment." His tone was still lighthearted but there was an underlying hint of something else. Concern maybe?

"I'm fine Auggie." Cold. Flat. Emotionless. Perfect. He was the last person she wanted to talk to right now. Then again, his offer to let her punch him was tempting. The punching bag clearly wasn't solving anything.

"Yes, you're clearly fine. That's why you're beating a hole in the bag at 5am." Auggie's voice was now wry and sarcastic. Fine, so maybe she wasn't doing such a good job of pretending to be okay. He was still her best friend after all. He knew when something was off. New tactic: time to change the subject. She pushed all her emotions to the side and focused on Auggie.

"You've got your first press conference today, you excited?" Hopefully he would take the bait and believe everything would blow over.

"Honestly Annie, I'm nervous. The first couple of assignments Arthur gave me were pretty counter intuitive. I didn't do so well on the first one and had to rewrite it." Now she just felt selfish for the way she had been acting. He was her friend and he needed her. Her natural empathy and compassion always came jumping to the forefront whenever Auggie sounded upset. She put her hand on his shoulder and took a deep breath.

"You're the best operative I know Auggie. You've overcome so much and this is a huge change. Give yourself some time, you are going to blow them all away." If only she could take her own advice. Annie sighed. She would support Auggie if this was what he wanted to do. Whatever other feelings she had begun to develop for him would just have to be squashed.

"Thanks Annie." His voice sounded husky. She didn't give herself a chance to analyze why. Would he miss her? Was he regretting his decision? No. Stop. Train of thought not permitted. He seemed to regain control before he spoke again though.

"I'd better head over to Arthurs office, early morning briefing for the press conference." Business as usual. That was fine, easier actually. She could be business like. They were just two people who happened to work for the same company. Friends. Nothing more. She moved her hand slowly from his shoulder down his arm before releasing him.

"See you later Aug." She hoped he hadn't heard her voice crack. She needed to get out of here before she lost control of her emotions again.

"Are you sure you are ok Annie?" Damn it how was he so good at reading her.

"Auggie. I am in perfect health, working in my dream job, and my best friend just got promoted. Life's great. Why on earth would I not be ok?" She hoped that was convincing enough. At the very least he seemed to have got the message that she didn't want to talk about it as he nodded then left the room without looking back.

She let out a tortured breath she hadn't realized she was holding and resumed punching the bag. She would get through this. She would be fine. And she would most definitely forget all about Auggie Anderson.


	5. Auggie Steps Through The Curtain

**A/N From here on out this is OOC - nervous but excited about where this could head :) As always, love hearing your opinions, ideas, and criticism :) They're kinda like fresh baked chocolate chip cookies on the "how happy does this make me" scale. Love to you all.**

**Disclaimer: Like everyone else in this story, I wish Auggie was mine. But alas, he is not. Neither is anything else Covert Affairs.**

**Auggie Steps Through The Curtain**

"There is a life for operatives beyond the curtain. A fulfilling life." Arthur spoke quietly to Auggie as he stood getting ready to face the media for the first time as the new head of the OCA.

"Yes, sir." He had a lot of respect for Arthur. He would do this job to the best of his abilities. No more time to waver in this decision. He had made his choice and it was time to follow through. He had been a soldier, doing things while struggling with doubts about his actions had become second nature to him. This shouldn't be so hard. He had known for a while that they were not going to sanction him to go back into the field. There had been months of discussions, interviews, background checks, and breakfast meetings with Arthur then Joan to prepare him for this moment. They were well aware of how difficult it was for a covert operative to let go of their cover after years of secrecy. For Auggie as a former special forces soldier, the need for confidentiality was built in his psyche as a matter of life or death. Mainly because for his unit, it had been.

To actually walk through the curtain and give it all up for good though - it would be the longest 10 steps to the front of the stage that he had ever taken in his life. He was breaking his cover. The old Auggie would no longer exist. He would be a CIA front person. No longer would he have diplomatic immunity - he would be held responsible for any mistakes he made - and the mistakes of others who could not be exposed for safety reasons. The level of responsibility he was now accepting was daunting, even for someone as ambitious as he had always been. The head of a CIA department. It had always been on his long term plan, he just hadn't expected to be offered the position so soon. If he had had his way he would have stayed in the action on the grassroots level for much longer. Of course, being blinded by a bomb hadn't been in his plan either. All things considered this was an excellent career move for him.

Underneath all the tension and nervousness, there was a growing sense of excitement about this promotion. He would have his finger on the pulse of the country. This was no small scale brush pass position. The operations organized by his department were extremely specialized and involved the highest levels if government. He was the visible and approachable head of the department, with a few support staff and a small overt team which handled the political dealings of the CIA. But the real power of his position lay in the team of specialized undercover operatives at his command. They were the operatives who investigated and dealt with threats to the stability of upper level government from both within and without. To know that he had been entrusted with so much was deeply satisfying, although nerve-wracking. His first task would be to earn the trust and respect of his team, many of whom would be older and more experienced than him. Auggie had always enjoyed a challenge, and this would be his biggest yet. Yes, some of the butterflies were definitely the excited kind.

"Auggie, it's time." Arthurs voice cut into his musings. He nodded curtly and turned to walk onto the stage.

Breathe Auggie. He had to remind himself. He wished Annie was there with him, she could always calm him down. Not to mention her ability to brighten any celebration.

He pushed aside the curtain and walked briskly across the stage to roaring applause as Arthur finished announcing him. He paused for a minute at the front of the stage and absorbed the sound, smiling openly at the crowd in front of him. It included politicians, diplomats, rich businessmen, and members of the press. Auggie realized that whether or not he had admitted it to himself, this kind of acknowledgment had been something he had been working towards for a long time. He had fought his personal demons when he went blind, emerging stronger and with a core made of steel. He had learned to truly care for people and honed his already excellent leadership skills to become the sort of head of department who both inspired his team and instinctively commanded their respect. It had been hard work, but at this moment it was finally all worth it. He was being welcomed and accepted into the upper echelon of power in the country.

As the applause swept around him growing louder instead of softer, the final piece of "Auggie. Blind head of tech Op's" fell away, and he stepped fully into his new role as the Head of the Office of Congressional Affairs. He was accepting this role with the support of the people around him. They believed in him and he had been carefully chosen for this position. The slight insecurity inside him that had had him holding back finally accepted that he would be able to do this job. And he would be good at it. That was all he needed to know for now. Everything else could be dealt with later. His grin widened as he greeted the guests and opened up the floor for questions from the press.

* * *

><p>Back in the DPD Annie, Joan, and the rest of the team eagerly watched Auggie handle the press conference with style and ease. He lightly brushed off questions which were too personal with a witty joke or anecdote, but he was consistently genuine and authentic in the way he responded to them. By the end of the conference he had them all eating out of the palm of his hand. He had gained their trust and respect. The notoriously difficult to handle congressional press corps laughed at his jokes and kept their questions friendly. It was unusual for them, usually they were trying to eviscerate anyone in positions of power.<p>

When they temporarily ran out of questions, Arthur announced that it was time to party and mingle, and Auggie was immediately surrounded by members of the press and congress eager to shake his hand and meet the young man who had so quickly risen through the ranks of the CIA to become the new head of the OCA. The reporters on TV all agreed in their post conference commentary that Auggie would make an excellent impact on the CIA's transperency initiative, gaining public approval and enabling more cooperation between government departments.

Annie had nearly exploded with pride in her best friend as Auggie walked onto the stage chin parallel with the ground, eyes shining happily, and grinning from ear to ear. For the first time she began to understand why Joan had said this would be a good position for Auggie. He thrived from interacting with the people around him. Absorbing the excitement from the room. The charm that had usually been used to get women to go home with him after a evening drinking at Allens, was now turned on full blast towards the congressional press corps, and none of them could resist it either. She had never realised just how charismatic he really was until she saw him charm that crowd without lifting a finger. He would be great in this new role.

Watching him in the background of the screen, mingling with the crowd at the party was causing her to realise that he truly was stepping into an entirely new life. He would have a new social circle, meet new people, go new places. And these were not places that she, as a covert operative, would be able to go. As the reporters ran around with microphones asking for interviews with the high profile guests, she could see him surrounded by a crowd of fawning diplomats and female reporters. She wasn't sure if they wanted to be near him because of his power or his personal charisma, but they clearly had no intentions of ever leaving his side. Heh. She laughed to herself. Typical Auggie, surrounded by women in minutes. Ladies love a blind guy, right? She felt a twinge of sadness knowing that she would never completely be able to be part of this new life Auggie was building.

She looked down to see her phone vibrating on her desk. Auggie Anderson? Looking up she could see he had disappeared from the screen. She answered the call with a smile,

"Sick of the fawning fan club already?" She heard Auggie's baritone laugh rumbling in the background.

"Never, but schmoozing just isn't my thing when I don't have you to make sarcastic comments to. I've shaken hands with everyone I need to, wanna meet me in my office for a celebratory drink?"

She had wanted to let him go. She had planned on letting him walk into his new life while she took time to get over him. But how could a girl turn down a request like that from the high-in-demand Auggie Anderson? She certainly couldn't. Especially considering just how gorgeous he looked in that three piece suit.

**A/N Next chapter: Auggie and Annie's personal celebration ;)**


	6. How to be Strong

**A/N Yes, this is angsty, I know...but I think when two people who have been broken start experiencing deep feelings it's always going to bring up old scars and things they have to work through. Only people who have had perfect lives find it easy to get together. Thoughts? Arguments? Love you all :D**

**Disclaimer: Wish they were mine. But nope. **

**Chapter 6**

Auggie sat behind his perfectly replicated desk in his new office and smiled. At least his set up was still the same. One less new thing to learn. Free food was included with his job - but if it was all going to be fancy French cucumber sandwiches like they had tonight, he was going to have to assign one of his team members to constantly go on real food runs. In the meantime he had picked up some pizza.

He was happy that Annie had answered his call and was willing to come see him. He knew his acceptance of this position had hurt her and as stubborn as she was, her refusal to discuss her feelings was an instant red flag that all was not well between them.

He heard Annie's heels approaching his office and stood up nervously. Apparently though, the anxiety was unnecessary. She came bouncing into his office happily and threw her arms around his neck, taking him completely off guard. This was slightly more affection than she usually showed around him. He hugged her back cautiously, unsure what had caused this exuberant display of emotion from the usually restrained Annie. He sniffed slightly and noticed the faint smell of vodka underneath her usual grapefruit scent. Ah. They had been partying downstairs too. That explained the hug.

"You were great tonight!" She gushed. Auggie just wondered how much she had already had to drink. Although, even coming from a tipsy Annie, the compliment still made his heart skip a beat. The way he could clearly tell she was wearing a dress with a scandalously low back when he hugged her wasn't helping matters either. Was she trying to kill him?

All he said out loud though was a quiet,

"Thanks Annie." She pulled out of his embrace.

"Yus! Pizza!" He could imagine the way her eyes lit up when she saw the pizza. Or at least if her excited exclamation was any indication of her facial expression, she was smiling happily at the discovery of the food.

They sat on the couch in the corner of his office munching in companionable silence for a while. Annie found her eyes glancing over at Auggie every few seconds without her permission. He had taken off his suit jacket and taken off the tie. His top two buttons were undone on his shirt and he had rolled his sleeves up to his elbows. There was a hint of a 5o'clock shadow on his chiseled face and his relaxed grin was different from the practiced, charming smile he had given to the press earlier. Stretched out comfortably on the couch grinning while he ate his pizza he looked so far removed from the untouchable Auggie Anderson she had seen on TV earlier.

This was her best friend Auggie, the one guy who would never let her down no matter what. That she was still his first phone call even now that he had a new job erased many of her fears about the impact this promotion would have on their friendship. It would be unconventional but they would find a way to make it work. She would just have to squash those 'other' feelings she had towards him. The ones she wouldn't even let herself name in her thoughts. As she sipped on her wine she sighed, it was going to take longer than she would like to get over him. Especially if he kept looking so disheveled and perfect.

Her carefully trained smile trembled slightly. She had had more than a few drinks already tonight. She didn't want to be the girl who couldn't be happy for her friend when he had good things happening in his life. She had come here intending to be the fun one. The girl he could always turn to when he wanted to enjoy life. She wanted to be stronger, it was her number one rule in life not to let herself need a guy. It had never ended up well for her in the past and needing a guy who was now responsible for the safety of the entire government of her country was clearly expecting the impossible. He wasn't superman. She needed to prepare herself for the way he would inevitably have progressively less time to spend with her as he adapted to his new world.

It was like this anytime someone went through a major life changing event. She knew how it worked, all the stages. It reminded her of the time when she had been pulled out of boarding school after a year. All her friends had promised her they would stay in touch. They had written letters for her to read on the plane and exchanged contact details. She had been excited about moving back to the states with her family. Life had been full of possibilities and new experiences which she wanted to tell all her friends about. That had lasted a few weeks. Then came the slow drop off in communication as all the friends slowly forgot about her and moved on with their lives. She was no longer part of their immediate circle so she was irrelevant.

She had seen it happen over and over, and she knew it would eventually happen between her and Auggie. It would hurt less if she was the one who left first. At least then she wouldn't have to deal with waiting for him to lose interest in her as made friends in his new social circle. She couldn't handle slowly becoming less important to him.

"Annie, you're staring, I can feel the hair on the back of my neck standing on end." She wasn't sure how Auggie always seemed to know when she was staring at him but she knew what she needed to do as he continued speaking to her in a low, husky tone that gave her goosebumps.

"What's going on Annie?" His face turned towards her and his unseeing eyes seemed be focused straight into her soul. She closed her own eyes and took a deep breath. He would forget about her anyway, just like everyone else she had ever let close to her in her life. She let her breath out as broken words fell out of her mouth of their own volition.

"I can't do this Aug." she took a quick, sobbing breath, "I thought I could be strong enough, but I'm not." She stood up to leave, walked to his desk to pick up her handbag only to turn around and find him standing in her way. He looked bewildered, unsure why she was running away again, but unwilling to let her get away so easily this time. Without thinking she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his head down to kiss him gently and sweetly. If one kiss was all she would get before she lost him she would take the pain it would cause her later. To her surprise after a second of shock he wrapped his arms around her back and kissed her back, hard, with an almost painful edge like he somehow knew that this was goodbye and she was breaking his heart by walking away.

She pulled back and pushed him out of her way, taking advantage of his temporary paralysis from shock and surprise to run out of the room for the second time in a week. What was it about this guy that scared her so much she couldn't be in the same room as him.

This time Auggie didn't try to come after her. He was stuck standing frozen in place, his long suppressed emotions in turmoil from one brief kiss. His heart was aching and torn from her words. Words he incidentally still could not make any sense of. What couldn't she do? Why didn't she think she was strong enough? She was the strongest person he knew. All he knew was that she was pushing him away and he had no idea why. He would respect her decision and let her have space since he seemed to be doing nothing but hurting her every time they were near each other. And if he was honest with himself the emotional roller coaster she was putting him through was enough to drive a stronger man than him crazy. Maybe space wouldn't be such a bad thing.

He swallowed hard. That kiss had sent feelings coursing through him that he hadn't felt since before he went blind. A thrill of adrenaline, fireworks, heat. Whatever you wanted to call the feelings they were there, and he could no longer ignore them. He just had no idea what he was going to do about them. Apparently he had time to figure it out though, Annie couldn't stand to be near him at the moment and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. Did she care about him as more than a friend too? Her unthinking kiss would suggest the answer was yes. But she had been drinking, maybe she was just using him as her rebound guy from Ben. He couldn't get his hopes up. Besides, she was pushing him away as hard as she could and there was nothing he could do to force her to admit how she felt one way or another if she wouldn't even talk to him. This time she would have to come to him when she was ready.


	7. Moving On

**A/N Slightly filler-y but Annie has some things that she needs to work through. And I wanted to show how Auggie's decision to wait for her to come to him is affecting her. Don't worry though, I fully support Augnie so stick with me ;)**

**Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. At all.**

**Chapter 7**

Annie went home and curled up in a ball holding her stomach as if by hugging herself tight enough she could keep her heart from shattering. She finally let the tears she had been holding in fall. She knew she should have been stronger. She may have just destroyed her friendship with Auggie but she couldn't take it anymore. She was in love with him and there was no way she could keep pretending not to be. Why had she kissed him? What was she thinking? Ugh. He had to know how she felt about him now. For a guy who loved a challenge so much that was probably the kiss of death, game over, there was no way he would be interested in her now. She was completely humiliated and disgusted at herself. She had practically thrown himself at him like some drunken co-ed at Allens.

Maybe she could ask for a transfer to a long-term op overseas. At least then she would get some real space from him. Maybe somewhere warm, by a beach. Just not one in Sri Lanka. Running to another country had always been the way her family had dealt with adversity. It really was a fail proof way to avoid awkwardness and embarrassment. Unfortunately the flip side of her rootless upbringing was that she had nowhere that felt like home. She didn't have any close girl friends other than her sister Danielle to turn to when her heart was breaking because all the people she had grown up with were scattered around the world.

He had kissed her back though. It had felt amazing, something she would remember the rest of her life. But it didn't make any sense. He was probably just caught off guard. And really, what red-blooded male is gonna refuse to kiss a girl who's plastered herself on him anyway. Let alone the serial womanizer Auggie Anderson. It was purely a physical response. Any other possibility was just far too confusing to consider.

She got up and wiped off her now panda-esque make-up and took a deep breath in front of the mirror, trying to compose herself. She had promised herself when she moved in with Danielle that she was going to try to start working through her issues instead of running from life when it got hard. She was young, single, and attractive. She had a job people would die for and had guys drooling over her in any of at least ten countries. She should not be sitting at home feeling sorry for herself just because one guy wasn't head over heels for her. She owed it to herself to keep her chin up, walk back into work looking gorgeous, and make Auggie realize what he was missing. Or at least find some way to forget about his existence. Which should be easier since he wouldn't be spending anytime on her floor anymore.

In fact, maybe there was a way to regain her broken pride and assure Auggie she wasn't attached to him. Jai had been asking her to go on a date with him since his first day in the DPD. And him and Auggie had always had some tension. It would definitely get Auggie's attention if she finally agreed to go out with his arch-rival, even if just as friends.

She shook her head at herself in the mirror and laughed slightly. She couldn't do that, she wasn't 14 anymore, using someone to make a guy jealous was childish and immature. Although when Jai had rescued her from the Ukraine on that motorbike she had noticed that his muscles actually felt rock solid. He was good looking and charming. One date couldn't hurt could it? Who was she kidding, she couldn't use Jai as a rebound guy.

No, it was time to focus on herself, learn how to truly be content and settled in one place. Maybe she would invite some of the girls from work to hang out tomorrow. That would be a healthy choice. If anything this experience was making it clear that her life was unbalanced and she definitely had some unresolved grief that she needed to work through before she would be able to be in a healthy relationship with anyone. She needed to to work through her past and she now had the time and opportunity to do that.

As she went back to bed and curled up again the ache in her heart continued throbbing at the edges but she knew she was going to be strong enough to face tomorrow whatever it might bring. There had to be a way through all this pain, and she was going to find it. Even if Auggie never noticed her, she would become a healthier person by working through her past. He had merely been the trigger.

* * *

><p>She made it through the next day. And the next week. Apparently the news of a breach between her and Auggie had traveled quickly because Conrad was flirting with her more than normal. Or perhaps Joan had just ordered him to in order to boost her damaged ego. Jai was in fact being suspiciously..nice. Not smarmy, just friendly. In a healthy, boundary-respecting way. That was new. He had been stopping by her desk every once in a while just to bring her coffee or have a few minutes of witty and carefree conversation. She didn't let herself waste any brain space trying to understand the change in the handsome suit-wearing CIA legacy.<p>

Instead she threw herself into translations at work, kept a smile on her face, went out shopping with Bea, and actually enjoyed spending time with the guy Danielle tried to foist on her at Thursday night dinner. But when two weeks went by and she still hadn't heard from Auggie her strength started to fade. Why hadn't he at least called to see if she was okay after the way she had run out on him the other night. She looked him up on google news and was greeted with photo after photo of him with a gorgeous blonde in a purple dress the night before at a congress mixer. Well, that explained why she hadn't heard from him.

She stopped by Jai's desk on her way out that evening.

"This is by no means a date, but I do need a friend right now, so I'm gonna take you up on that invite for drinks – are you free tonight?"

"For you? Anything, anytime." Jai smiled at her. Genuinely smiled, not a smug smirk. Again with the odd behavior. But she still wasn't questioning it. She wasn't lying when she said she needed a friend. Even though her heart was broken, what was hurting the most was the loss of her best friend. She needed someone to talk to. That wasn't selfish was it?


	8. Auggie's Limit

**A/N Thank you so much for all the story alerts and reviews – totally makes me want to keep updating this :D This is short but theres more coming :) **

**Disclaimer: Not mine, yada yada yada, you get the picture.**

**Chapter 8**

It had been over two weeks and Annie was still ignoring him. He had heard bits and pieces of information about her from his friends in the tech ops department but nothing to help him understand how Annie was truly feeling. He asked Joan if Annie was doing okay but for some reason Joan was stone-walling him, she merely informed him that he needed to talk to Annie directly himself. Apparently she was more protective of Annie than even he had realized.

The reality was he was worried about her. And he missed her. A lot. Not knowing if Annie was doing okay was distracting him from being able to focus on his job. He needed to pull himself together. He cared about Annie but he knew he couldn't ever let himself be any more than friends with her for her own safety. She was ignoring him anyway.

In fact, he was a little angry about that. How dare she kiss him like that then walk away. No girl had gotten under his skin like this since Natasha. He had understood that she was upset that he had abandoned her by taking this promotion. Hell, he even understood that she was working through some stuff in her own life and for whatever reason he was a trigger right now.

She had left his office that night so cryptically. He still had no answers to the questions she had left him with that night and it was driving him to distraction. Hearing that Annie had agreed to go out with Jai last night was the last straw for him. Apparently that kiss had meant nothing to her. She was just using him as her reliable best friend. Or ex-best friend given that she was now avoiding him.

Then again, he couldn't judge her for going out with Jai given that he had been dating the beautiful Swedish ambassador's daughter. For him though, she was just a distraction, someone to pass time with. Annie knew that Jai had always been his main competition and that going on a date with him would hurt. Or at the very least she must know it would bruise his ego.

But maybe he was just trying to make excuses to avoid facing facts. The reality was that he was hurt and bewildered by the emotional yo-yo game she was playing with his heart. And that the only reason she was able to do that was because he was head over heels in love with her.

He slammed his coffee down on his desk slightly harder than he intended and put his head in his hands, groaning in frustration.

He couldn't take this anymore. Anything would be better than this feeling of limbo. The not knowing was killing him. He looked at the time; Annie would be finishing work in a few minutes. He headed straight for the elevator to intercept her on her way out. As he stepped out of the elevator onto her floor he could smell her grapefruit scent.

"Annie." He called out and heard her footsteps pause before she continued walking away from him. She was not getting away with that this time. They were going to have this conversation right now whether or not she wanted. She had pushed him away long enough. He ran to catch up with her, placing his hands on the sides of each of her arms and turning her around gently to face him. Every muscle in his body was taut and tension was rolling off him in waves. His unseeing eyes pinned her to the ground with their intensity. He was fighting every instinct within himself to continue to hold her lightly instead of pinning her to the nearest wall and kissing her the way he had been wanting to for weeks.

His frustration was barely contained below the surface. A guy could only take so much, and he was at the end of his rope. Instead he spoke evenly, calmly, but through gritted teeth. The words came out low and tightly controlled.

"I need an explanation. Right now. Can we talk alone, please." The please came out as more of a growl. It was a demand, not a question.

Annie took a deep breath and agreed,

"Ok."

**A/N Time for them to have it out!**


	9. Rooftop Confrontation

**A/N Thanks for reading :D There's more to come so keep tuned, don't worry I wouldn't leave them in this state forever! :) Love reading your reviews – please let me know if you have any requests or ideas for where you would like this to go :) **

**Chapter 9**

Neither of them said a word as they took the elevator upstairs to the roof where they could talk privately. The tension between them grew by the second, both of them on a knife edge ready to break, but trying to hold themselves together until they could have some privacy.

As soon as they had closed the door of the private CIA roof garden behind them and established that they were alone, Auggie turned furious eyes in the direction of Annie. Their body's faced each other, both defensive and poised for a fight. Annie knew by the tight lock of Auggie's jaw that she had pushed him too far this time. She had thought perhaps going out with Jai, even just as friends would finally spur Auggie to action but she had never seen Auggie this close to losing control. Usually his black op's special forces training kicked in earlier than this.

When he finally spoke, Auggie's voice was full of barely restrained anger at the way Annie had been ignoring him. Not to mention her date with Jai. He spoke slowly, the way he would speak to a child, each word enunciated clearly and precisely clipped.

"Help me understand, Annie. Two weeks ago you kissed me, then ran out of my office saying you weren't strong enough for something." He was breathing heavily from the exertion of trying to keep himself from losing control and kissing her properly right now. He needed answers first.

"Then, you proceeded to ignore me and act like nothing ever happened. I've tried to back off and give you space because I thought you'd come tell me what was going on when you were ready. But you haven't which means the only possible explanations are that either I've done something to hurt you or you're hiding something from me. So, tell me the truth Annie. What. Is going. On."

"Its embarrassing and I really don't want to talk about it. We're fine, Auggie, I just needed some space to clear my head." Annie looked up at him from beneath her long eyelashes and saw the pain and frustration in his eyes that her behavior had caused. Did she dare to be honest with him? No, he had his own new life. She couldn't risk letting herself get tossed aside like yesterday newspaper. He put his hand on her arm and faced her front on, not giving her the option of avoiding this confrontation.

"Yep, well, Annie. You've had some space. Now talk." His face was dead serious, she couldn't get out of this by brushing him off with a joke. But he did at least seem to genuinely want to know. So she gave him the real answer. Well, part of it.

"You chose work over me Auggie. I mean I get that it's a great promotion but you were my best friend and you didn't even think to discuss it with me before you made your decision - you just gave our friendship up without a second thought. I had honestly thought I meant more to you than that. But clearly I was wrong. I thought I could be strong enough to be that girl on the sidelines of your life who you could always rely on but then I saw you on TV doing that press conference and realized I would never be able to fully be part of your life again. It hurt." She could tell by his one raised, skeptical eyebrow that he wasn't buying her explanation. Of course, she had to choose to fall in love with a guy who's IQ was off the normal testing charts. He narrowed his eyes at her disbelievingly.

"A little bit of an overreaction from a work colleague don't you think? Or is there more to it? Because that still doesn't explain why you kissed me." All of a sudden Annie felt herself getting angry too. How dare he demand that she tell him. She didn't owe him anything. And he was the one who had chosen to leave her anyway.

"Oh, so now I'm just a work colleague. Nice to know where we stand Aug." She didn't mean for her voice to come out so bitter and hurt but she was done holding back, now he would get to see just how much he had hurt her. She went to storm out as tears started welling up in her eyes but Auggie reached out and grabbed her arm just tight enough to stop her from being able to leave.

"I'm done with this conversation Auggie. If I'm just a work colleague then why don't you tell ME why you're so worked up that I haven't spoken to you in a couple of weeks. That shouldn't even matter to you. And if I meant so much to you don't you think a little bit of warning that you were moving to a new job and that we would no longer be able to be friends would have been in order. You spent so much time telling me you wanted to get back into field work – was anything you told me about yourself even TRUE?" By the end of her rant she was yelling at him, not caring that his jaw was clenching and un-clenching in pain and a feeling of helplessness while she talked.

The raw pain in her voice broke his last thread of control and he pushed her against the chimney behind them, moved his hands up to her face and took a step forward to keep her pinned there with his body against hers. He spoke in a husky tone, his lips and inch away from hers. Not allowing her to move because she needed to hear this and he wanted her 100% attention.

"Lets just make one thing perfectly clear Annie. You are the most important person in my life, and I only took the job to save you. Back when your mission was compromised and I had promised to get you home safe. Did you honestly think I had access to top level black hawk military helicopters? I made a deal with Arthur. Your life in exchange for me giving up field work and taking this position. And I would do it again in a second if that was what it took to keep you safe. I care about you, Annie. If you had been killed I wouldn't have been able to live with myself." He could feel her soft breathing on his lips and feel her squirming slightly under his control. Without releasing her at all he closed the gap between their lips and kissed her, trying to say with his body all the things he could not put into words. By the time he pulled away both of them were gasping for air.

"Annie. I love you, and my new position isn't going to change that." He paused for a minute, not sure if he could go through with what he had to do next, but knowing that it was what was necessary to keep her safe. Annie's heart jumped into her throat at his words but she could sense that there was a 'but' coming that she was not going to like. Auggie continued, all previous anger gone, now left only with a gentle sense of futility and exhaustion.

"But my feelings for you don't change the fact that it's too risky for us to be anything more than friends. We would never be able to have a real relationship. I wouldn't be able to take you out anywhere, and any time we did get together would be within the walls of Langley. You deserve more than that." This was why he had kept her at a distance. It finally made sense to her. But she tried to look for a loophole nonetheless.

"But how about Arthur and Joan - she's a covert operative but she still gets to be seen with Arthur." Yes. There. It was possible. Auggie just needed to stop being so stubborn and stop trying to protect her like some sort of caveman. He just shook his head slowly.

"Sorry Annie, but that's an exception to the rule and it's highly dangerous. They were married before Arthur took his public role. The CIA created a whole cover story for Joan. As far as the public is aware she works for the World Bank. She doesn't go out on many missions now, most of her work is within Langley. And Arthur has to deal with her life being in danger every single time she is seen with him. I don't want that for you. You deserve to be with someone who can make you 100% part of their life. I couldn't do that for you." His eyes now contained immeasurable sadness. How could he be pushing her away like this if he truly loved her as he said he did? It made no sense. She tried once more to change his mind.

"We'll figure it out. There's gotta be a way to make it work." His response was to kiss her once more, gently, softly, but with finality as he pulled his body away from hers and took a step backwards.

"I don't think you understand, Annie. I can't be the man that you need. I can't be there to protect you on the field. This job I have now at least means I have the access to emergency extraction procedures if you are ever in danger again. But I can't be with you, not in the way that you want. Not if my existence in your life is putting you at risk. And that decision is irreversible."

This time Auggie was the one who turned and walked away.


	10. Why?

**A/N I've loved the way the show has been slowly letting us see that Joan and Auggie actually have a rock solid respect based friendship in spite of the hierarchy in the DPD. **

**Disclaimer: Covert Affairs isn't mine. **

Annie wasn't sure if it was his second kiss or his third one that had finally shattered what was left of her heart. Perhaps it was the words that accompanied them. Or the way he walked away, shoulders back, chin held high as if he had not a care in the world. It might have been the way his tone was so dismissive and final as he told her his decision was irreversible. Or even the way he didn't even turn back once to see the damage he had caused. Then again, it wasn't like he could have seen her if he had turned around anyway.

Regardless, none of the reasons mattered. All that mattered right now was the way her legs had turned to jelly and the chimney was the only obstacle between her and the ground. She let herself sink down and focused on breathing slowly to calm herself down. She would be okay; her heart had been broken before. But her head felt funny. Heavy all of a sudden, and the world around her seemed to be swimming. She brought her hand up to her cheek and found it wet, apparently she had been crying. Either that or it had started raining and she had somehow failed to notice. She looked up slowly, nope, no rain. Definitely in shock then. That was okay. She just needed to gather her emotions, focus on something, anything. Her head felt so scattered. She was distant, detached from everything around her. As her body reached the ground she closed her eyes to stop the onrush of information that seemed to be coming at her. It was too much. Give her violent assassins and sneaky double crossing spies any day. Those she could deal with. But this. This was something else. She was at the limit of what she could handle.

* * *

><p>Auggie walked slowly back down the CIA hallways, disoriented and hurting, unsure what to do with himself. Not that he had any right to let himself have a pity party. This had been his own decision, he deserved to feel terrible. Yeah. It was official; one night stands with pretty girls were going to be his lot in life. Especially once word got around of the way he had treated Annie. It was for her own safety but that did not stop him from feeling like pond scum. He could only hope that a clean break would make it possible for Annie to heal. The sound of ragged breath's tearing through her lungs as he walked away would haunt his nightmares for a long time.<p>

He found himself, almost without realizing it, knocking on Joan's door, hoping she was still working.

"Auggie? Come in." She sounded mildly surprised to see him. "Is everything okay?"

He ran his hand through his hair.

"Not really. I think I may have done something I won't be able to repair."

Joan's blonde head jerked up in concern and she directed him to sit on the cushioned bench that ran along the side of her office.

"Auggie what have you done?" The question was spoken calmly but Joan was worried. Mainly about the way all the blood seemed to have left Auggie's face and he was so tense he was shaking. She wasn't even sure that he realized the state he was in. She hadn't seen him this worked up since the explosion that killed his unit and blinded him. She got him a cup of water and sat down next to him, placing her hand on his shoulder and speaking calmly as she would when debriefing him from a mission. Joan was one of the few people who knew how to get through to him when he was this deeply in shock.

"Auggie, I need you to listen to me. I know everything seems overwhelming and out of control right now but I need you to pull yourself together and tell me the facts of what happened. Now." Her tone left no room for him to argue with her. It was a direct order that cut through the haze surrounding his mind.

"Well, lets see. First, I told Annie that I love her. And that we can't be together because it isn't safe for her and she deserves someone who can make her part of their entire life. Oh and in between I kissed her."

Joan immediately sent a text message to Jai telling him to find Annie and make sure she got home safely. The last thing she needed was two self destructive agents on her hands. Annie might not trust Jai all the time but she knew that he did care about her as a friend. That would do for the moment. Annie was strong; right now she was more concerned about Auggie.

"I thought you wanted to stay close to Annie no matter what the cost, what changed?" She would have time to process her surprise over Auggie and Annie's quickly changing relationship later, for now she needed facts, needed to know what she was working with.

"You were there after my unit was killed. Going blind I could deal with, but the fact that I survived and they all died is something I still feel guilty about. The thought of Annie dying and it being my fault…let's just say she's started to feature prominently in my nightmares." Auggie's voice was now carefully controlled. Joan's direct questions had forced his special forces training to kick in and he had stopped shaking, instead he was breathing in and out deeply.

"She's a big girl Auggie, don't you think she deserves to make that choice for herself?" She knew what Annie would choose if she had the option. It would definitely be different, and it would most likely mean Auggie would have someone to turn to when the nightmares got particularly bad.

"In case you haven't noticed, Annie is not particularly careful when it comes to her own safety." Joan almost laughed. Yes, she had noticed. Everyone had noticed. The girl was more or less guaranteed to break protocol at least once during an average run of the mill brush pass.

"You know I'll respect your decision Auggie, but I also think there are alternatives you haven't yet considered." All Joan saw in response was all Auggie's defenses go up. He stood, facing her and switched into the voice he used to give his soldiers orders; it allowed for no arguments.

"There are no other options I'm willing to consider. She needs to get over me and move on with her life. She trusts you, say whatever you need to to make sure she does that. Please." Auggie's words were harsh and cold. Joan knew he was reacting out of fear but it was something he would need to work through on his own. As much as she respected Auggie, it seemed she was going to need to protect her operative from him until he came to terms with his past.

"You can't back out or change your mind this time Auggie. You're giving the poor girl whiplash. I'll look after her but if you do this you're losing her for good." His strong facade cracked for a second as she spoke, pain lacing his face. Every operative who stayed in this business long enough had some deep scars, Auggie was no exception. But his military bearing held him together as he walked out. She could barely hear his quiet reply,

"Pretty sure I already have."


	11. Joan up to Mischief

**A/N – Things got so intense last chapter that I felt we needed to see some of the lighter side of the situation. The last chapter was rock bottom for Auggie and Annie so don't worry things are about to start getting better for them - hang in there! Or feel free to express extreme distress about the way they are right now in reviews :) Either way works hehe. **

**Scubagurl22 – You asked for Joan's alternatives...I'm not gonna give it all away but here's a teaser ;) hope this chapter makes you smile. Rest assured, Joan has a plan.**

**Chapter 11**

When Jai received Joan's text message he frowned at his phone for quite some time in confusion.

"Annie needs a friend now and for the next few months. She is in Langley, figure out where and ensure she gets home safe. Will explain further in the morning." Usually Joan wouldn't let him within spitting distance of Annie. He could only hope she was finally giving him a chance to prove he was trustworthy.

He found Annie barely coherent on the CIA roof. Also not within the realm of usual occurrences.

"Annie talk to me, are you hurt?" Her eyes slowly focused on him but she didn't respond. He bent down and picked her up, concerned when she didn't even resist as she normally would have. The cryptic message he had received from Joan had told him nothing useful, but the fact that she was asking him to get her home instead of Auggie made it pretty clear that something had gone on between the golden duo of the CIA.

He was genuinely worried about her. Annie was one of the strongest women he knew and for her to be falling apart was not something that happened often. Although he had been told to get close to her as a request from Joan, he had a lot of respect for her as an agent and as a friend,and seeing her so vulnerable was hard for him. He was not someone who normally cared deeply about anyone unless he needed something from them, but Annie was so hard not to like. She was usually so self reliant and strong that he could not help but admire her, and he had decided early on that if he had to choose between her and the agency, his loyalties would lie with her. She was a person well worth having as a friend.

He got her to her feet and kept his arm around her to support her, and directed her to the direction of the car park since she seemed to be almost unaware of what was going on around her. Her hair was a mess, her make-up had run, and her clothes were crumpled from sitting on the concrete floor of the roof. Somehow she still managed to look gorgeous, not that he would ever have a chance in that realm. Her dance card was full enough. He opened his car door for her and made sure she was safely buckled in before making his way to the drivers side.

Danielle opened the door when he got her home, apparently she had also received a call from Joan. Or, "the Smithsonian," saying that Annie had not been feeling well and they had sent her home. The mystery deepened for Jai – it was not at all normal for Joan to get so personally involved in an operative's life. But for now Annie was safe. He could only assume he would get some answers in the morning.

* * *

><p>Joan made her way to Arthur's office as soon as she was done speaking with Auggie. She knew Auggie was scared but she was also aware that there was a high possibility that Annie would be more willing to discuss alternative options. She wanted to have some options to present to her when the time came. Her husband had always been her favorite person to scheme with, and this situation called for both of their skills. And his connections. Naturally.<p>

"Arthur." She smiled mischievously at her husband, and he did not fail to catch the gleam in her eye.

"Joan. You're up to something." The smile was contagious, Arthur grinned back at her. Somehow his wife still had the ability to make him feel like a schoolboy. Causing mischief with her was one of his favorite past-times. She replied to him enigmatically.

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Depends who's asking." She sat on the edge of his desk and laughed. Her laugh drove him crazy. In all the best ways.

"I want in." He genuinely did not care what she was up to. If it involved his favorite blond CIA operative - a.k.a. his wife - it was going to be fun. She turned her gleaming eyes directly on him and his stomach did happy sommersaults. He would never get sick of seeing that smile.

"What do I get if I let you join my mischief?" Anything his body said. Anything at all. He controlled himself so he didn't sound too desperate for her, turning his own charming grin on her as he replied.

"Looking like that, half my kingdom. No questions asked." She laughed again, then her smile faded slightly.

"I might have to take you up on that. It's about Auggie and Annie."

"You have my full attention."

"Auggie feels that them dating would be too much of a risk for Annie and he's terrified of her getting hurt because of his overt role. He's stubborn, and its going to take some time for him to work through his fears. I understand that. But in the meantime, I want to have a back-up plan ready to kick into action as soon as he gives the word. I'll have Annie doing some translations for him every now and then which will force them to at least stay in each others circle. And I'll advise her that he still needs her friendship. Which is true. I'll take care of a few things on my end. Now here's where you come in..." She leaned down and whispered something into his ear causing his face to light up like Christmas.

"That could very well work. I'll get my people on it right now." Arthur stood and pulled Joan into a quick kiss but the way she was smiling like a small child made her so irresistible he decided to leave the rest of his paperwork for the morning.

"Lets go home." He put his hand on the small of her back and directed her towards the door. The trouble-making smile reached Joan's eyes and she nodded, allowing herself to be guided out of the office.


	12. A New Cover

**A/N Did anyone else totally get heart palpitations from tonight's episode? Especially that hug. Nuf said. Also – the reviews I'm getting from you guys seriously make my day :) Thank you so so much!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Covert Affairs...nope you know what, after watching the episode tonight – I probably wouldn't do anything differently – the writers are absolutely brilliant! They can keep it! I'll just play with the character they've created :)**

**Chapter 12**

Annie stumbled into the office the next morning with bags under her eyes and her face buried in a cup of coffee. Joan immediately called her into her office.

"Have a seat Annie." She had no energy to resist or question the order, she nodded – and continued drinking her super sized coffee.

"Okay." Annie just hoped she wasn't in trouble. She didn't think she had done anything to break protocol recently but her brain was working in slow motion so she couldn't quite be certain. She was still overwhelmed by everything that had happened yesterday and she really wanted nothing more than to run over to Auggie's office and vent. He would have some lighthearted quips to make her feel better. And probably a large bottle of Patron. Except for the part where they weren't on speaking terms right now.

"I spoke to Auggie." That pulled her attention away from her coffee, and she hadn't thought that would be possible today. She swallowed quickly and looked at Joan with unconcealed and desperate curiosity.

"You did?" Joan nodded.

"Annie, how much has Auggie told you about how he went blind?" Okay, again the conversation had taken a turn she didn't expect. What did this have to do with anything?

"He gave me the full story a little while ago, why?" She frowned at Joan, a little confused as to why this was relevant. Joan met her gaze evenly and calmly. Did the woman never lose her cool? Apparently not.

"One thing you need to understand about Auggie, is that he still feels responsible for the way his unit were killed by that bomb. Survivors guilt, it's an extremely strong and difficult to deal with aspect of coming through a situation like that. Although he went blind, he feels guilty that they died and he didn't. Part of him feels like he should have died with them, although the other part of him feels that he owes it to them to live the most fulfilling life he can so that their death's weren't in vain." Interesting information. But not really useful at this point given that Auggie appeared to have no intentions of ever speaking to her again. Out loud she simply said,

"Okay...but what does that have to do with me?" Usually she would be quicker at connecting the dots but right now it felt like her brain was foggy and understanding teased at its edges, just beyond her grasp. Joan appeared to ignore her question as she continued speaking.

"He couldn't protect his unit. But part of him is always going to ask what if. Like...what if he had given them an order to stay in place instead of telling them to check out what turned out to be a trap. He feels responsible for their deaths." Annie blinked a few times and continued staring at Joan. Why did her head feel so useless this morning? She couldn't focus, and words weren't processing properly. Auggie had really done a number on her emotions if she couldn't even focus her mind for long enough to listen to her boss explaining something.

"I understand that but why are you telling me this now? Auggie and I aren't even speaking anymore." That much, at least, her bewildered brain appeared to have grasped. It was possibly the only thing it was capable of understanding at this point in time. At least until her triple shot of caffeine kicked in.

"Annie. He loves you, but because of the scars he still has from that event he's never going to be able to let himself knowingly put you in danger. And he feels that dating him would be too risky for you. You deserve to understand why, so that you are able to make an informed decision on what you want to do from here." Finally, something that made everything else tie together. Okay, this was about her and Auggie. Annoyingly, this information was going to make it hard to stay mad at him for the way he was treating her.

"I wasn't aware I had any options other than trying to forget about him and move on with my life. Although, I was kinda hoping that you could give me a long term op somewhere far away, preferably on an island with nice beaches where I would never have to see Auggie again." She half-smiled hopefully. Seriously though, a beach far away from Auggie sounded fantastic right now.

"We will back you up in whichever decision you make but personally I think Auggie needs you in his life. He might not let himself date you for now, but if you think you are strong enough for it, he is definitely still going to need your friendship." She couldn't be friends with Auggie while watching him go through his roster of girls, it would kill her inside. Her heart was damaged enough already.

"Joan, we don't really have any reason to be around each other anymore. And I definitely don't want to see him." Joan smiled gently in response and raised her eyebrow comfortingly.

"Are you sure about that Annie? Because I get the feeling you want nothing more than to see him, you're just scared that he doesn't truly love you." Bingo. Jackpot. Correct. Was she really that transparent? How embarrassing.

"Maybe. It's possible." There was no point in denying anything to Joan, the head of the DPD had instincts like a hawk.

"Annie, if I could tell you that I am absolutely certain that Auggie loves you and that deep down he wants to be with you. And if I told you that there may be ways to make it possible. How would you feel about spending time around Auggie under those circumstances?" Was that honestly a question that wanted a serious answer to?

"I'd want to see him right now if that was true." Not that it was a possibility. If he really loved her he wouldn't have walked away from her like that, no matter how afraid he was. At least, she didn't think he would have.

"Arthur and I have been talking, and it seems that a promotion to your position in the Smithsonian is in order. To something like, Special Advisor for the Congressional Acquisition of Art?" Joan handed Annie a manilla envelope.

"This contains the details of your new cover. I suggest you learn it quickly."

"Does that job even actually exist?" Annie was fascinated by this new turn of events. She had no idea how Joan had managed to pull this off so quickly but she was definitely not complaining.

"It's a position that has suddenly been found to be necessary. A top secret and confidential request was made for an assistant to one of the top level officials. Any background checks will find a long and detailed history of your phenomenal taste in art and extensive experience working in acquisitions for European Aristocracy. It will mean that you will have an excuse to spend time in the same social circles as Auggie. Even if he chooses to continue pushing you away. Which, quite frankly, I don't think he will be able to do for long." Annie looked down at the ground and shook her head as if to clear out the cobwebs hanging all around it.

"Why are you doing this for me?" This was definitely outside Joan's job description. The personal lives of agents were their own responsibility and the agency definitely did not usually expend resources to help agents with their relationships.

"The CIA looks after its own Annie. And it's hard enough to find someone you love in this line of work. We will do whatever it takes to give you and Auggie a chance. What you do with that chance will be up to the two of you. Now. Take a week's vacation, get some rest, and come back to work ready to show a certain stubborn young operative just what he is missing out on. You're dismissed."


	13. The Fundraising Gala

**A/N This is so much fun to write. I love you all for getting so involved in this story and I can't thank you enough for all the story alerts and reviews. Totally blown away by the response :) Now if only I can figure out what to do with my time now that the summer season has finished...ideas? **

**Chapter 13**

Auggie threw himself into learning his new position, trying to keep his mind off Annie. The job itself was actually fascinating. He was able to use his charm and way with words to make people trust him – and he didn't even have to lie to them. It was refreshing after so many years of secrecy.

He loved having the opportunity to interact with some of the smartest minds in the country. Well, that, and the few congressmen who got voted in on what must have been false pretenses since they were utterly clueless about how the world around them worked. On them he sharpened his sarcasm, testing to see what he could get away with. Turns out he could get away with quite a bit actually. Auggie grinned at that thought. There was one young British diplomat in particular who he was sure had only received his job because of daddy's purse strings. One Mr. David Brighton. It was intriguing to see that nepotism was still alive and well in the upper circles of power. Unfortunately he was also slimy, charming, and good looking. Definitely going to be his main competition in this social group. Nothing he couldn't handle of course. Stealing all the prettiest girls away from Brighton was his new hobby.

Tonight he was representing the CIA at a fundraising Gala. Which, as far as he could tell, was a fancy excuse for everyone to get dressed up and drink expensive wine? He wasn't complaining – it meant gorgeous girls in silky dresses. He leaned against the bar comfortably and listened around the room to hear where the pretty girls were congregated. Or, more precisely, he listened for the sound of fawning males throwing compliments at the most beautiful girls with a lack of subtlety that might well cause blunt weapon trauma. He owed it to the girls to rescue them from such tactless buffoons.

He was just starting to immerse himself in an enjoyable conversation with an eastern European brunette when he heard a voice that made him freeze. Annie? What was she doing here? Closer to the point, what was she doing making flirtatious chit-chat with his arch-rival? From what he could overhear she was now the "Special Advisor for the Congressional Acquisition of Art." A promotion from her job at the Smithsonian. He was going to KILL Joan for this.

The worst part was that he couldn't even cut in and steal her away from him. As far as anyone knew, he and Annie had no connection to each other. Interrupting would make it obvious that he knew her, putting her life at risk. Which, ultimately was the reason he had asked Joan to make sure Annie moved on. Her safety.

Seriously though, there was only so much a guy could handle. As he heard Annie giggle and accept the offer of a drink from David Brighton he decided he had had enough. Maybe there was a way around this. He was pretty sure Annie would play along if he pretended not to know her; she had to in order to maintain her cover. As soon as he heard the pretentious interloper leave to get her drink he made his way over to her section of the room, pretending to be looking for something.

"You look lost; can I help you find someone?" Annie's voice. He smiled.

"Actually I was looking for the restroom but did you know that you have an oddly mesmerizing voice?" She laughed and touched the back of his hand in a gesture of introduction. He grasped her hand firmly and shook it.

"I'm Annie Walker, Special Advisor for the Congressional Acquisition of Art." Yes, this had Joan written all over it. Maybe he would get someone to burn her coffee tomorrow in payback. Nonetheless, he would work with this situation. He turned his most charming grin on Annie. Not the private one he reserved for her only, but the public one he gave to all the girls he convinced to fall in love with him on the spot. It gave away nothing about his true feelings.

"That's quite the title Ms. Walker. Auggie Anderson, Head of the Office of Congressional Affairs."

"Oh I've heard of you, everyone has." She was actually gushing. Over him. He was going to tease her mercilessly about this later.

"So that guy who just went to get you a drink, is he your boyfriend?" He heard her clothes rustle as she shifted uncomfortable. But her words were chirpy when she replied.

"No, he and I are just friends – I've been helping his embassy with their art collection. Why, do you think he likes me?" She sounded eager. Too eager. What, had he just been demoted to the gay friend over a period of two weeks or something. Surely she was aware that he was in love with her. He thought he had made it pretty clear. Then again, he had also asked Joan to make sure she moved on with her life. Apparently Mr. Brighton was the price he had to pay for that decision.

He had known he wouldn't like the guy from the beginning day one but his vague distaste for the man had sharpened into full-blown jealous hatred within minutes. Even though he had no right to be jealous. Annie could date whoever she wanted to, he had given up all claim on her affections when he left her crying on the CIA rooftop. She deserved to be happy, even if it wasn't with him. So he would grin and bear it, and make this as easy on her as he could. He grinned easily at her,

"A guy would have to be blind not to like you Ms. Walker." He was pleased at how successfully he managed to keep all jealousy out of his tone. Maybe he shouldn't throw out his black op's deception training just yet.

As he heard the return of David Brighton's pointy toed Italian shoes he decided it was time to bow out. If Annie wanted to date the buffoon it was her choice. He had made his choice and this was just a natural consequence. Well, part natural, part Joan-inflicted. He had a few choice words to say to her about her methods of 'respecting his decisions.' He grinned and nodded at David in acknowledgement of his existence. It grated on him, but the old adage was true, friends close, enemies closer. Just, preferably not close enough to hear the woman he loved flirting with him.

"Where did you say the restroom was Ms. Walker?" He asked politely, in a tone befitting that of a new acquaintance.

"You were heading the right direction, keep going straight then turn left when you hit the wall. It's in the left-hand corner of the ballroom. It was nice to meet you Mr. Anderson." She knew he hated it when people called him that. Unfortunately his usual resort when she was being deliberately inflammatory was to tickle her until she begged for mercy. Clearly not an option right now. Instead he replied with the utmost civility.

"It was a pleasure to meet you too Ms. Walker." The words felt furry and disgusting in his mouth. What he really wanted to say was more along the lines of 'please let me know if Mr. Brighton tries anything so I can knock him out." Again, not an option. He sighed as he walked away, it was going to be a long night. Where had that brunette he was talking to before gone?


	14. Nightmares

**A/N Welcome to all the new readers who just joined and story alerted :) Great to have you on board!  
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**Stella Celeste Taylor - Short answer: Pride and Fear. Long answer: keep reading ;)**

**Chapter 14**

_Auggie was walked down the quiet suburban street hand in hand with Annie. It was a beautiful sunny day, a slight breeze blowing to keep the temperature comfortably cool instead of unbearably hot. The trees on either side of the street were the perfect color of green after the rain they had had the day before. Her hand fit so perfectly in his, he might never let it go again. She was gorgeous, her deep purple dress clinging to her body in all the right places as she smiled up at him in delight. He couldn't quite remember what they had been talking about as she looked at him from beneath those long, graceful eyelashes. Just looking at her smile emptied his mind of everything except her. She was perfect, and she was his. _

_He leaned down and kissed her lightly on the forehead before throwing all caution to the wind and yanking her towards him to kiss her properly. He closed his eyes and breathed in her gentle grapefruit scent as he wrapped his arms around her back, holding her tightly. His whole world was wrapped up in his arms. Suddenly he felt the air change. He was still holding Annie but the ground beneath them had turned sandy, the breeze no longer cooling. _

_Now the wind merely brought hot, scathing, sandy air, forcing his eyes closed again as the sand tried to tear his skin to shreds. He tried to look around, but could see nothing but swirling red sand. Feeling his way through the heat he made contact with what felt like a wall and quickly pulled Annie between it and him. He could hear yelling in the background, and recognized the voices as the men in his unit, asking him for orders. _

_He needed to figure out what was going on, and he clearly didn't have a lot of time. He tried to open his eyes agin, this time he could see a vague green-brown shape in the distance. A tank? Did it belong to his team? No. He would know about it if it was his. But his men were all surrounding the tank. Was he supposed to be over there with him? He told Annie to stay against the wall, hoping it would provide enough protection to keep her safe and he ran over to join the rest of his team. _

_Before he could reach the tank Auggie suddenly heard screaming, felt himself flying through the air, heat engulfing his body, burning, tearing, unbearable heat. He heard Annie yelling his name..she had followed him? He had told her to stay by the wall, but he couldn't do anything now. He hit the ground with a heavy THUD, swimming in and out of consciousness, all he could make out were vague shapes before his vision went from blurry to black. _

_He was only out for a few seconds. When he regained consciousness, or something similar, he was still surrounded by black but the screaming had stopped. Everything was silent around him. _

_"Annie?" He called out quietly, not wanting to alert his enemies to his presence. But when he didn't get a response he called out louder,_

_"ANNIE?" Still nothing. Frantically now he got on his belly and started crawling trying to feel around for her, she had been right behind him. He felt his fingers touch skin, found fragments of Annie's silk dress, now melted to her, felt for her arm, no pulse. Why was there no pulse?_

_"ANNIE? Wake up, breathe, talk to me, do SOMETHING?" _

"Annie!" Auggie woke up yelling her name. He sat up in his bed sweating profusely, his breathing ragged and unsteady. He groaned and flopped back down on his mattress. It was just another nightmare. It was the same every time. Things would be fine until he let Annie get close to him. It was his fault she got hurt. His fault she died. He had vowed never to let her get close enough to him to end up like that in real life.

As the head of the Office of Congressional Affairs he received intel of death threats and terrorists plots targeting towards him every day. All the countries with tense political relations to the states had him on their list of high priority targets. Kidnapping him and holding him for ransom would be a major feat for any of them, especially if they wanted to get any of their own political prisoners back. He would be a highly valuable bartering tool.

By extension, anyone who he was seen to care about would be seen as a possible way to trap him. While he could maintain a friendship with Annie, both privately, and now publicly with her cover, he could not let it be known that she meant any more to him than any of the other girls on his roster. It would be putting her in danger and he could not live with himself if she got hurt because of him. He felt his watch, 1am.

His heart was still beating out of his chest. He knew it was just a dream, but part of him would not be able to get back to sleep until he knew Annie was safe. He picked up his phone and pressed 1 on his speed dial.

_"_Hello?" She sounded groggy, and surprised to hear from him. Which made sense given that they hadn't had a real conversation since that rooftop confrontation weeks ago. _  
><em>

_"_Annie? Sorry to wake you up, but...are you okay?" Dumb question. He hadn't spoken to her in weeks and that was his greeting.

_"_What do you mean Auggie? Okay in what way? I'm not lying in bed crying myself to sleep over you if that's what you're implying." From surprised to angry in 2.5 seconds. He should probably have expected that.

"No, that's not what I meant. I meant physically, are you safe?" He buried his head in his hands, God, hearing her voice while he was in such a vulnerable state was killing him.

_"_Auggie, I'm fine. But its 1am and I'm a little surprised to hear from you. Are YOU okay?" She sounded concerned now. That would make sense, there was no reasonable excuse for him to be calling her at this time of the morning if everything was fine.

"Uh. Yeah. I'm okay, sorry for waking you up, I'm just gonna go and let you get back to sleep." Bumbling fool. That was going to be his new name for himself. What had he been thinking, calling Annie at this hour of the night. But at least she was safe. That was what he needed to know.

_"_Auggie, you don't sound fine. You sound like you've been crying. Do you want me to come over?" No. No, she needed to stay at home, in bed, safe.

_"_No Annie, it was just a nightmare, just wanted to make sure you were safe. And now I know. And feel like an idiot for waking you up over a scary dream." He laughed self deprecatingly.

"Okay. Well sleep well Aug." Amazing...she didn't sound angry at all anymore. Just exhausted and sad. He felt his heart contract at the pain in her voice. Clearly for all her flirting with Brighton, she hadn't yet healed from the damage he had done to her when he pushed her away. He shouldn't have called her, he had promised Joan he wouldn't keep giving her emotional whiplash. He couldn't be with her and he needed to let her move on. He knew that when he was thinking straight, but that nightmare had sent him into full blown panic mode.

He could still hear Annie breathing on the other end of the phone line, apparently she had fallen asleep again without hanging up. He kept the phone next to his ear and closed his eyes, the sound of her calm breathing finally lulling him into a sense of safety as he also drifted off to sleep.


	15. Is an apology enough?

**A/N This is for those of you who were getting ready to start throwing tomatoes at Auggie if he didn't get his act together soon ;)**

**Disclaimer: Dreams are free. TV shows are not. I don't own it.**

**Chapter 15**

When she heard her phone ringing the next morning Annie answered it without bothering to look at the caller ID, praying that it would be Auggie. It wasn't. Instead it was the British diplomat she had met at the fund-raising gala the other night. David. 6'3, built like an Abercrombie and Fitch model, with a British accent. He had been sweet and charming the whole evening. Intelligent conversation too, he could keep up with her. If her heart wasn't so shattered there might even be a chance of a future with him. He was calling to ask if he could take her out for dinner.

She didn't have any reason to say no, other than the knowledge that she was less than whole. But maybe he could be healing for her. She'd tried everything else to get over Auggie. At some point she was going to have to start dating again. She just wasn't ready yet.

"David, you're great, but I have to be honest, I had my heart broken recently and I'm really not date material right now. Can we do the whole friends thing?" At least he would know where they stood, he wouldn't be able to blame her if she never got over Auggie. She wasn't lying to anyone. And maybe a date would be fun. His accent was kind of sexy. All British, consonants dropping out all over the place. She loved listening to his voice. She tuned back into the conversation,

"You're definitely worth having as a friend. Lets keep it casual then, drinks tonight?" Drinks. Now he was speaking her language. She smiled with genuine contentment.

"You know what, that actually sounds really great." She wasn't lying, or even trying to convince herself that she would have fun. This guy was someone she was excited about getting to know.

"Cool, I'll pick you up from work? The Smithsonian right?" Yeah. Not quite. But of course he could never know that. Occupational hazard.

"Actually can you just send me the address for the bar and I'll meet you there, I've got a few errands I gotta run first." Close enough to the truth for her conscience to feel okay.

"Done. See you tonight Annie." He hung up. He had taken that better than she expected. Most guys didn't even want to try being just friends. But he had been so sweet about it. It was nice to be able to be direct and honest with someone about something. Even if it was something small like having a broken heart. She turned on dance music and got ready for work looking forward to the day ahead for the first time since the rooftop with Auggie.

* * *

><p>That is, until she arrived at work to find Auggie perched on the side of her desk with two large cups of coffee. Suddenly everything good about her day drained out of her and all that was left was utter exhaustion. She didn't have the energy to go another round with Auggie today. She had had enough of fighting with him.<p>

"Auggie...what do you want?" She sat down at her desk ignoring the proffered coffee. He got the message and placed the coffee down on her desk. Relations between them were way past the stage of being solved by him bringing her a cup of coffee.

"I want to apologize." She wasn't sure an apology was going to fix things either but at least this was an improvement on him making her cry.

"For?" There was such a long list of ways he had hurt her recently, she was curious as to what he would choose to apologize for.

"Well, I was thinking I'd start with apologizing for waking you up in the middle of the night." He clearly had no idea of the damage he had caused. Waking her up in the middle of the night was the first thing he had done right in the past few weeks. At least he had finally let her see that he still cared about her. Out loud though, she merely stated facts.

"You are aware that that's the least hurtful thing you've done to me in the past month, right?" He squeezed his eyes shut and ran his hand through his hair.

"Yes. I am very much aware of that, I'm just...slightly nervous right now and I thought I'd start off with the small stuff and work my way up from there?" Okay. Maybe he did know how much he had hurt her. Good.

"I'm listening." Intently, in fact. She was hanging on to his every word. He looked so gorgeous sitting on her desk in his gray sweater which was just fitted enough to outline his muscles in all the right places. She wasn't sure what she actually wanted to hear from him though, or if anything he could have to say would be enough to fix the damage between them. Part of her wished he would kiss her. She shoved that part of her in a box and locked it away.

"Look, Annie, I've been way out of line in the way I've treated you lately. You are a highly capable and intelligent woman and I should have respected you enough to let you make your own decisions about the risks you want to take with your own safety instead of going all cave-man on you and trying to protect you against your will." Maybe he did have one or two brain cells left in that brain of his.

"Yeah. You should have." Oh, there it was, the pent up anger she had been pushing aside. Did he really think he could just apologize and everything could go back to the way it was? No. Too much had happened for that to be an option.

"I was scared. Scared of you getting hurt and it being my fault." His face pleaded with her to understand where he was coming from. It was weird, not being able to read each-other's emotions and thoughts. They had been so close before that they could communicate with the slightest touch or laugh. Now though, there was a distance between them, both of them had put up walls to protect themselves while they healed.

"That's a risk I take every morning when I get up and come to work Aug. I chose this lifestyle. Danger comes with the territory." She didn't know how to make him understand how she felt about him, she would gladly risk her life every day if it meant she got to be with him.

"I know, and I understand that. Look, Annie...I've been having nightmares of your getting killed in the explosion that killed my whole unit the minute I let you get close to me. And I tried to calm myself down but it wasn't until I heard your voice on the phone last night that I realized that the only way my fears were going to go away would be if I let you in and faced the fears head on." Finally, he was getting to the core of his actions. Too little too late, but it was nice to at least know why he had pushed her away.

"So again, Auggie, what do you want?" His mouth opened and closed a couple of times before he simply said,

"Your friendship." That was not the answer she had been expecting. She wasn't quite sure what she had thought he would say. Something along the lines of telling her that he still loved her and couldn't live without her. Becuase then she could reject him point blank and they would be even. But friendship - she couldn't say no to that, and her heart actually sank slightly at his answer. The rebellious part of her heart still loved him and wanted him to love her.

"Let me get this straight. You want my friendship back, nothing else? Just wanting to be clear on where exactly we stand." Auggie frowned. He wasn't quite sure what angle her words were coming from. Was she not willing to be friends? Or was she upset that he wasn't asking her to be his girlfriend. He didn't want to try to jump into a dating relationship with her until they had their friendship back on track, they had a lot of things they needed to work through before they would be able to begin a healthy relationship. So yes. For now, he wanted her friendship. He hoped that she would be willing to give it another chance.

"Yes. You're my best friend and I miss you a lot. Can I, please, have your friendship back?" Annie laughed, he sounded like he was going to get down on one knee and beg if she said no. The puppy dog look in his eyes was impossible to resist.

"Fine. Okay. I accept your apology and we are officially back on speaking terms." Relief flooded his face and he broke into a smile.

"Do I get a hug?" His grinned at her, so carefree and delighted that it was like she had her old Auggie back. She wanted a hug desperately, and almost gave in, but she didn't trust herself not to burst into tears if he touched her. It was better to keep her defenses up for now.

"Don't push it. I'll talk to you later Aug." He left her office with a grin on his face. It was a start.


	16. David

**A/N This chapter was so hard to write...trying to figure out how to make the situation realistic while everything in me is screaming that I want Annie and Auggie together. Love you all for the reviews and alerts :)**

**Disclaimer: Alas, Covert Affairs is not mine. **

_3 months later _

Annie sat back in her chair and smiled. Her first non-date with David 3 months ago had been exactly what she needed. He was charming, funny, and treated her like a princess. He opened the car door for her, paid for everything, and didn't try to make any moves on her. Not to mention that accent. Seriously, the accent was the best part.

So when he had called her after a few more non-dates to tell her that he had had so much fun with her that he wanted to be more than just friends, she was intrigued. And when he told her that although he was willing to wait until she was ready, he wanted her to know how he felt, she had decided she was ready. She agreed to a date with him.

It felt nice to be wanted, even if the commitment-phobe side of her was screaming that this was a bad idea. She dismissed her fears as relics of an unstable upbringing and fear of settling down. After all, David was the perfect guy. He called when he said he would and he was always there for her when she was having a bad day and just needed a hug. He even sent flowers to the Smithsonian addressed to her.

It was maybe a little over the top for 3 months into a relationship but she should feel loved and appreciated, right? That was how healthy, well adjusted women felt when a man sent them flowers. Maybe she was just irrevocably damaged from her military brat travels. Maybe settling down was never going to make her 100% happy. But 95% happiness was all anyone could really ask for in life. She knew she needed to at least try to work through her commitment issues. Or so David informed her every time she tried to break up with him.

He would tell her that her anxiety was normal for anyone considering a serious long-term relationship. But that he was sure that once she had calmed down again and had some time to think it over, she would realize that she was just pushing him away because she was scared of how deeply she felt about him.

Her anxiety got so bad that she no longer knew how she felt about anything, her emotions had shut down. Did she love him? Did she even like him? Sometimes she wasn't sure. Maybe he was right and she was just crazy to even consider that there might be something else out there for her. She had a perfect guy, why did she feel the need to sabotage the relationship?

She began to realize that the reason she had been so attracted to Ben was because he was emotionally unavailable. He would never have provided any long term stability which was easier for her - it meant there was no chance of having to give up any of her independence to be with him.

David, on the other hand, was offering her a whole life. Financial security and stability. A family. The option of never having to work again if she didn't want to. All things which terrified her, but maybe it was part of growing up. She needed to learn to how to settle down like a normal person.

Auggie watched from the sidelines as Annie became more and more anxious and depressed. She no longer wore Louboutins to work, instead she would turn up in sneakers. She didn't bother spritzing her grapefruit scent on anymore. He tried to talk to her about her unhealthy relationship with David but the Brit had some sort of hold over her. She said that she had been weak and vulnerable and going through a bad time and that David had been the one who helped her put herself back together. She owed him.

Auggie knew that the reason she had been vulnerable was because of his own behavior and it destroyed him inside. He wanted to hit the pretentious prick in the face but Annie refused to let him get close enough to her to even tell her to break up with him. Ever since she agreed they could be friends again she had kept him at arms distance. He would ask her to go out for drinks and should would say she was busy but maybe another time. When he stopped by her office to chat she always seemed to be 'just leaving.'

When he bought her coffee it sat on the desk, ignored and forgotten. She was so tied up in her relationship that she forgot to make time for any of her other friends. And it was killing him. Watching her with another man was slowly tearing him to pieces.

They were all part of the same social group because of their jobs, well, not Annie's real job, but her cover job. So every time there was a work event he would be forced to hear the sound of Annie flirting with David. Annie kissing David. Annie with a man who was not him. And yet part of him knew that she didn't love David. There was something in the way she was too defensive whenever someone said something bad about him, like she was trying to convince herself that he was more than he really was. Something in her tone of voice sounded different. It was not the way a woman in love gushes about the object of her affections. She spoke about David as something practical. An advantageous marriage option. Someone who would provide for her no matter what. Someone who could always be relied on. She was settling for the safe option. Or at least that was what she appeared to be doing. The few times she had opened up enough to tell him what was going on in her life he had read between the lines to realize that she was not staying with David because she loved him, but because she felt like she needed him.

Watching his best friend get dragged down and convinced she was not in her right mind simply because she did not love a man was torture to him. He knew he had lost any right he once had to give her advice on it, especially considering that any time he tried to say anything about David she would tell him the conversation was over and not speak to him for days on end. She had not forgiven him, and although he had tried everything to gain her trust back, she seemed determined to never let him in again. He threw himself into the task of trying to forget about her.

So when he turned up at her apartment late one Thursday night it was because he had had enough. Auggie had finally snapped. He had also had slightly too much to drink at the evenings congressional celebratory party. He was so sick of those parties that he no longer kept track of what they were celebrating. And to make matters worse, he had run out of women to sleep with while trying to forget the one woman he had messed everything up with. The one who still haunted his dreams and nightmares

He knocked on her door heavily demanding that she let him in. Not politely.

"Annie, lemme in righ' now." He slurred his words, consonants running together. She opened the door a crack,

"Auggie you're drunk, what do you want?"

"Jus' lemme in, please. I need to talk to you." She frowned but opened the door for him and he felt his way into her apartment.

"Auggie, I was already in bed. We can talk in the morning. You can sleep on the couch, you clearly aren't in any state to get yourself home before you pass out." She sounded annoyed. Peeved even. And definitely not happy to see him. Too bad, this time he was determined to break through her emotional walls and tell her how he felt. He was sick of her keeping him at a distance.

"No, I need to talk to you now." He spoke the sentence as an order. It was a tone no-one else dared to disobey. Apparently though, she was immune to it.

"I'm going to bed Auggie, its 3am and you woke me up." She turned to walk out of the room pausing when she heard a broken whisper from behind her.

"Annie, I still love you."


	17. Cracking Walls

**A/N I couldn't leave you guys on that cliffhanger for too long! There WILL be resolution don't worry,** **it's on its way soon :)**

**Disclaimer: CA is not mine. **

Annie spun around to face Auggie, caught off guard by the pain in his voice.

"You what?" He repeated himself, stronger this time. She wanted to believe him. But he had abandoned her when she needed him most, she couldn't trust him again.

"I. Love. You." She had learned her lesson about giving men second chances. Ben had left her twice. Second chances were never a good idea. And when it came down to it, just because a man said he loved her didn't mean he would be there for her when it was important.

"So what? Like you said, your feelings for me don't change anything. You can't be the man I need. I deserve more." Auggie took a step back, reeling, as if her repeating his own words back to him had punched him in the gut. Taking a deep breath in he pulled himself together and walked towards her. She wanted nothing more than to push him away, tell him to get out, that he had hurt her too deeply to fix. But part of her was curious about what he had to say. She wanted to know what had changed over the past 3 months that would bring him to her doorstep drunk and broken.

"Annie...you need to understand, I felt like I had to keep you at arms distance to keep you safe. Maybe that was wrong of me, but when I realized that you were in just as much danger without me as you were with me the damage was already done."

"Yes, Auggie, it was. Still is. Nothing has changed."

"Yes it has. You aren't happy Annie. And I've tried to ignore it for as long as possible. I've tried to let you have the space to be happy with another man, thinking maybe he could give you the life I couldn't. Maybe you could be safe and protected and have someone who was there for you all the time instead of married to his job. And for a while he did seem to be making you happy. But lately all I've seen is that spark that usually drives you getting fainter. I can't sit by and watch anymore."

"So really you're just here to tell me you don't approve of my boyfriend. I'm going to bed Auggie." She turned and started walking back to her room. He called after her,

"Annie, wait." He sounded desperate.

"Why should I Auggie? Waiting for a man to realize that they hurt me has never done me any good in the past, I don't see why that would change now."

"I'm not here to judge your relationship, just let..." Annie cut him off. She couldn't hear anymore or she would fall apart. Those walls she had so carefully built around her heart after numerous heartbreaks was threatening to crack.

"Auggie, I can't do this right now. We'll talk in the morning when you're sober. Get some sleep."

She walked into her room and slammed the door behind her before curling up in bed as the tears finally fell down her face. As strong as her defenses were, his words had cut through her and now bounced around her mind incessantly. He was right, she was not happy with David and she could no longer lie to herself and pretend like she was okay with the way things were.

* * *

><p>Auggie sat on her couch with his head in his hands, rubbing his eyes. He had said the only thing he thought could possibly get through to her and she had still shut him out. He meant it though, he loved her so much he could no longer watch her trapped in a relationship that was hurting her. He needed her to know she had another option and that he was there for her to run to if she needed someone to be on her side. He would always be on her side, no matter how much she pushed him away.<p>

Lying back on the couch he closed his eyes and let sleep wash over his alcohol addled brain.

* * *

><p>At some point in the middle of the night he woke up to the feeling of soft hands shaking him and calling his name.<p>

"Auggie. Auggie wake up!" He sat up with a start.

"Whats wrong?"

"You were yelling like you were being murdered. What kind of nightmare were you HAVING?" Oh. Of course. His humiliation was complete. Now she had seen him at his weakest point.

"The usual one. You get killed in an explosion and its all my fault." No point in watering it down now.

"That's the reason you pushed me away." Was she talking in general, or at this precise moment? He wasn't sure. He tried to smile and brush it off,

"That? No. Just a minor nightmare, really I'm actually quite fine." She wasn't taken in by his lighthearted tone for a second. Throwing her arms around his neck she pulled him close and he could not help but respond, wrapping his arms around her back tightly. This was Annie, the one person in the world he would do anything to keep safe.

"It's gonna be okay Annie. You're okay." He wasn't sure if he was comforting her or himself. When he felt her tears sinking through his shirt though he knew that this hug was about more than just making his nightmares go away. Whatever happened in the morning he would deal with, but with her in his arms everything was the way it should be. For a moment they were reconciled again, Auggie and Annie, the way they had been before he took the promotion and messed everything up.

"You know, I really do need to get some sleep, and clearly its not possible if you're gonna scream like a madman again tonight, you can sleep on the other side of my bed, its big enough for both of us." Everything in him wanted to have her close, to know that she was right there next to him. It was the only way he would know she was safe. But as tempting as it was, if he was ever going to have Annie in his arms he wanted to go about it the right way. He respected her too much to do this.

"Annie. You have a boyfriend you know I can't do that." And just like that her walls went back up again. He heard the hurt return to her voice.

"Fine." She left him lying on the couch alone. Again.


	18. Smirking

**A/N Didn't mean to cause a riot with 2 cliffhangers in a row! As promised - happy Auggie and Annie :) From here - happier exploration into how they're going to build and maintain a relationship with Auggie's public role and Annie still going out on missions **

**Disclaimer: They aren't mine.**

Annie stumbled out of her room in the morning to find Auggie sitting at her kitchen table drinking strong black coffee and smiling slightly for some unknown reason. She sat down next to him and poured herself some coffee. She took a deep breath in and approached the pink elephant in the room directly.

"You were right. I'm not happy with David." Auggie's turned to face her, his eyes full of compassion.

"I know." His usual confidence was back. He sounded so sure of himself. In a way it was comforting, knowing that he was still willing to be her rock.

"I just don't really know how to get out of the relationship at this point, he's been there for me through a lot." She wasn't quite sure why she felt that she needed to make excuses for her relationship to Auggie. She didn't owe him anything, she just wanted him to understand.

"It's okay Annie, I'm not trying to pressure you into anything. I just wanted you to know that I'm here for you. Always. Even if it takes me forever to convince you to truly forgive me for the way I treated you." She could feel her emotional walls crumbling into dust. No matter how much she had tried to convince herself that Auggie didn't care about her she had always known deep down that he did. It was that knowledge which made her eyes fill up with tears as she whispered,

"I forgive you." Auggie's head turned away from her as he frowned slightly.

"You've said that before and your actions said otherwise." She put her hand on his arm and rubbed it gently with her thumb. She wanted him to know that she was sincere about this.

"No, this time I really mean it Aug. You're the only person who's been honest enough to talk to me directly about David. Really the only person who knows me well enough to see through me when I try to pretend I'm happy. I'm still hurting, but I know I've hurt you too."

"You know, if you need some help getting rid of David I know some people..." Auggie smirked at her happily. She hadn't seen this lighthearted side of him in far too long. She hadn't realized how much she was missing it. She punched him playfully.

"Don't you dare set your congressional hit squad on him August Anderson or you'll have ME to deal with." He laughed and she couldn't help the smile that made it way across her face. It was a smile that lit up her eyes for the first time in months.

"I've missed you Annie Walker." He really had. So much more than she realized. It had been a physical longing that never left, no matter how elegant the company he had each night was.

"I've missed you too Auggie." Maybe everything would go back to being right with the world. Annie felt a sudden urge to go shoe shopping for some new season Louboutins. She looked at the time and almost groaned. After the eventful night they had had she was not looking forward to a full day of translation. She looked at Auggie smiling at her genuinely and realised that maybe it wouldn't be so bad with him back on her speeddial.

"So...work?" Auggie did groan.

"Ugh. Hangover. Work is the last place I want to go right now." He knew it was his own fault though. He shouldn't have had that last glass of rum.

"I can think of a few things which might make it better." Annie smiled flirtatiously, knowing he would hear it in her voice. Auggie's response was to run his hand up her arm to her face and pull it close to him.

"Oh really? I'm listening intently." He whispered, knowing from the sound of her heart speeding up that he was making her nervous. Not that she would ever show it of course. She whispered back in reply,

"I could tell you, but, then I might have to kill you, and that would be such a waste of those good looks and charm." She thought he was good looking and charming. He could live with that.

"You know Annie, you're quite the heartbreaker." They do say that every joke has an element of truth in it. That one had many levels of it. His smile faltered for a second as he remembered that she still had a boyfriend and he couldn't be this close. He pulled back but kept smiling as he thought that she would probably break up with David soon.

"Oh, I know. It's a talent. But I get the feeling you've broken a few hearts yourself Mr. Anderson." He should probably send apology letters to those women he had used to try to forget Annie. He had just been in such a dark place that nothing seemed to matter.

"Didn't I tell you not to call me that?" His irritated tone was negated by the way he couldn't stop smirking at her in delight.

"I can get away with it 'cus you know I love you." He knew she was joking, but hearing those words coming from Annie still made his heart leap into his throat.

Auggie reached in the direction of Annie's voice to find her shoulders and pulled her into a bear hug.

"That's the last time we fight, are we clear?" His voice was husky with emotion. She leaned into his hug pulling him as close to her as possible as she lay her cheek on his shoulder.

"Crystal clear." He released her from the hug just long enough to put his arm around her shoulders as they made their way out the door for work.


	19. Everything Will be Okay Rewrite

**A/N Thank you so much for reading and all the reviews and favorites :) You guys are awesome. Decided to rewrite this and wrap it up so it wasn't just leaving everyone hanging :).**

When David arrived at her place to see her the next evening Annie had prepared herself for a confrontation. It was time to take back control of her life. She invited him in and asked him to sit down. She looked him dead in the eye and said,

"I can't be in this relationship anymore." He laughed as if he found her words ridiculous.

"What do you mean, Annie?" Sardonic, and disbelieving were two words that came to mind as she listened to him.

"I mean that I don't like the person I have become and I'm not happy. I'm breaking up with you." She exhaled. She had said it. She had finally been strong enough to tell him it was over for good.

"Are you going through a rough time at work again? Stop trying to blame me for all your problems. You know I'll support you through them. You need me." No. She didn't need him.. She had Auggie and she knew he would always encourage her and support her. She didn't need David.

"No. I don't. Not anymore."

"There's another guy isn't there?" She realized in that moment that she had never loved David. It had been an unhealthy and unbalanced relationship all along. But Auggie had never given up on her no matter what happened or how tense things got between them.

"This isn't about any one else. This is about my feelings changing. I don't want to be with you anymore. I'm sorry." She meant it. This time she really meant it. And she could tell that he realized that as his face went from sardonic to bitter and glaring.

He jumped up and pulled her to him, kissing her roughly as she struggled to push him away. It was no use though, he was stronger than her and had clearly had more practice at hand to hand combat.

"You won't ever find anyone who will care about you as much as I do. You're too weak and needy." She tried to break her arms free for long enough to try any of the self defense moves Auggie had taught her but he was too strong.

Pushing her suddenly onto the couch he started kissing down her neck as she reached into her pocket and held down the 1 on her cellphone, praying that Auggie would pick up.

Auggie heard his phone calling out Annie's name and grabbed it immediately,

"Hey Annie,"

All he heard in response was muffled moaning.

"Stop it, get off me!" Annie's voice. And in response, David's voice?

"If I don't get you then I'm gonna make sure you aren't good enough for anyone else either."

"Annie, ANSWER ME!" Nothing. He ran downstairs and whistled for a cab.

Within minutes he was at Annie's door, thankfully it was unlocked. He burst into the room and threw David off her hard enough that his head hit the wall, knocking him out. He was furious and wanted nothing more than to beat the man to a pulp but when he heard Annie crying all the fight went out of him, replaced by a driving need to make her feel better.

"Annie. Did he hurt you?" He picked her up and wrapped his arms around her shaking frame.

"No I just felt so powerless. All the self defense moves you taught me just went straight out of my head. How did you get here so fast?" Auggie breathed in deeply, trying to calm his temper. How dare someone make Annie feel this way.

"My cab driver knows me well, so when I told him to make like a movie cab driver he didn't question me." He grinned at her lightly, trying to reassure her that everything was going to be okay now.

He called some of the men from his team to come and arrest David for assault. Annie didn't let go of him for a while, she was still shaken and scared.

"Auggie I can't stay here tonight." He nodded, understanding.

"I won't ever let him anywhere near you again Annie. I'm here now and I'll protect you. You know that right?" He kissed her on the forehead gently and she knew that she was safe.

"I love you Auggie." He closed his eyes and breathed in her grapefruit scent. He had wanted to hear those words from her for so long.

"I love you too Annie." She felt her relax against him, finally at peace.

"Can I stay at your place tonight, I just don't want to be alone." She sounded so forlorn and vulnerable, he would do anything it took to make her feel precious, valued, and safe again.

"The cab driver is waiting for us out front."

* * *

><p>When they arrived at Auggie's place he made her a cup of tea and gave her an oversized t-shirt to sleep in. She crawled into his bed, under his thick feather duvet and he heard her stretch herself out comfortably.<p>

"Do you want me to sleep on the couch?" He hoped she would say no, he couldn't bear the thought of not having her in his arms tonight.

"Don't you dare make me sleep alone tonight." Apparently she felt the same way. He grinned and climbed in next to her, wrapping his arm around her waist. As much as he was dying to kiss her he knew after what she had been through tonight that would have to wait. For now he was content to simply hold her and know that she was safely in his arms where he could look after her. Maybe he was old fashioned but as strong and independent as Annie Walker was, he could never shake the desire to be there for her in any way she needed him.

She responded by snuggling closer to him, damnit she was driving him crazy already. Sleep would be a long way off tonight.

She turned in his arms to face him, her face an inch away from his.

"Thank you." It was for more than just rescuing her tonight. It was for being there for her everytime she needed him.

"Mhm." He was being lulled to sleep by the comforting feeling of having her in his arms.

"Aug?" He kissed her forehead and murmured against it.

"I'm here Annie."

"Do you think he was right about me being weak and needy?" That startled him wide awake.

"You? Annie you're the strongest person I know. What he saw as your weaknesses - an ability to feel deeply, the intelligence to question your emotions and analyze whether they are healthy, the empathy to put yourself in someone elses shoes and not want to hurt them - those are all strengths. And I'll keep reminding you how strong you are every day for as long as it takes for you to believe it again."

She didn't reply to him for a long moment and she thought he had fallen asleep. Then he felt her lips softly brush across his and he gasped at the sensation.

"Annie what are you doing? You don't have to do this. You don't owe me or any man anything." Her kiss sent sensations through him that were difficult to ignore but he didn't want her to kiss him out of guilt or obligation and he knew that she was still broken from her relationship with David.

"I know that I want to be with you. And that I've missed you so much I didn't think I'd ever be truly happy again. I've waited long enough for you to kiss me, I don't want to wait anymore." He didn't need any more convincing. He pulled her waist gently but firmly towards him with one hand and pulled her head closer with the other hand. Their lips met less gently this time, as months of pent up emotions and hurt were repaired. Pieces of both of their broken hearts were fused together as their lips moved in sync. Auggie moaned against her mouth as she opened it slightly to allow his tongue access. The kiss escalated quickly, becoming heated and intense; it was Auggie who eventually pulled back,

"You know this is not going to be easy to maintain with our jobs. We're going to have to have a private life and a public life and keep them separate. Are you sure you're ready to do this?"

"Yes. We're two of their best operatives you KNOW that we can convince people of whatever we have to in public. I've been trained to be very convincing." Auggie could almost hear her stick her tongue out at him.

"Better put that tongue away Annie before you find yourself in trouble. Oh, and one more thing I should mention, theres gonna be a lot of jealous girls around the CIA." He grinned at her mischievously.

"I can look after myself." She smiled and moved close to him again, he could feel her breath on his neck, sending a shiver down his spine.

"Okay. Its official then."

He leaned over and kissed her once more, all defenses gone. This time it was like coming home. It felt right and for the first time in months he was completely at peace. Annie was his and he would never allow the CIA, Congress or even the press, to get between them. He pulled away only to wrap his arms around her tightly and felt her snuggle closer to him.

* * *

><p>Those who saw Annie and Auggie the next day were inexplicably filled with happiness; everyone knew something had changed. The atmosphere in the CIA was unusually chirpy. Joan knew the precise reason though. Joan knew everything. Annie arrived at her desk to see a single word email from her boss.<p>

"Congratulations."

It was all that needed to be said.


End file.
